One thing I’ve been harping on lately is my incredulity that people are incredulous that other people don’t think like them/act like them/believe what they do. I was reading old Ask A Manager posts, and the commentariat went off on a tangent about eating when you’re in a foreign country. Someone commented on how she found it really sad that her inlaws (Chinese) went to France and sought out Chinese restaurants instead of eating French food. She said she loved Chinese food, but she was still sad about their lack of trying French food.
Woman. 100% of East Asian people are lactose intolerant to varying degrees. 100%. Or, to be generous, 99%. What do French people use a shit-ton of? Cheese. And cream. And milk. I recently Googled gluten-free and dairy-free along with France, and they don’t believe in any of that shit. So, yeah, the in-laws sought out Chinese restaurants! Why the hell would you want to eat something that was terrible on your digestive system?
Other people talked about how they knew ‘picky’ eaters who brought food with them when they went to foreign countries, and wasn’t it so sad that they didn’t try the local food because that’s part of the country?
I would agree that food is one part of a country’s culture, but it’s not the only one. And there are several reasons not to eat the local food. People in that post rightly pointed out that it was nobody’s business and that there were several reasons why someone might not eat the local cuisine.
Some people doubled down, though, and said it was fine if it was allergies, but if it was ‘just’ pickiness, well, that was not ok! Excuse me? Why the fuck was it any of their business if someone had a bland palate for medical reasons, because they were ‘picky’, or for any other reason? Such as being a supertaster.
Even if it was that the person was truly being picky because they only liked certain foods, so what? There were several people talking condescendingly about how the person could unlearn being a picky eater. Which, maybe yes and maybe no, but no need to get an attitude about it. Also, again, why did it matter to anyone else? If you are traveling with them and they refuse to go to certain restaurants, then, yes, that’s something for you to cencern yourself about. If it’s just that they don’t want to try anything new, but they’re not imposing on you, then why do you care?
For me, I will never go to most of Europe because they are so big on pasta and cheese. Ican’t eat any of that. When I went to Malta and stayed in a Franciscan monastery, they had pasta for every meal. With cheese. Forntunately, they also had plain meat and plain veggies. Plus, gluten-free bread for breakfast. So I ate, but it was pretty miserable.
I just don’t understand why people care. About what other people eat, I mean. Again, if the person who is eating more plainly insists on not going to any place with the things they won’t eat, that’s one thing. Barely.
I have a hard time remembering that people use themselves as the barometer for normal because I am such a freak that I just assume no one is like me. In fact, I’m more startled when someone agrees with me or understands where I’m coming from than when I’m being ignored or disagreed with.
I would just like to understand why people think it’s such a big deal. Thinking once, “Oh, that’s sad” because someone won’t eat the local food? Fine. Making a moral judgment about the person or thinking it would be so easy to change being that ‘picky’ is not so understandable.
I don’t know how to explain to people that the way they think is not the universal norm. Or that even if it’s something that is pretty universally accepted, that still means there’s an appreciable minority who does not feel the same way. That’s the whole point of humanity! Life being a rich tapestry and all that.
There’s meme called Rule 34. If something exists, there is p0rn of it. I would extend it to say that if it exists, there people who are actually into it. And, because there are billions of people in the world, something that has thousands of people liking it would be very niche, but that’s still a big chunk of people without the context of ‘the whole world’.
So even if you cannot fathom something, it isn’t wild to believe that someone might like it. This is the thing that gets to me with the whole ‘don’t yuck someone’s yum’. It only ever seems to go one way. The way of the dominant culture. Even when Captain Awkward uses it (and I think she might have coined it? It’s where I became aware of it), it’s in the vein of ‘if you don’t like a bit of pop culture, keep your mouth shut’.
As far as I remember it, and I can’t be assed to look it up, frankly, she was talking about if a group of people are excitedly talking about something (and it might have been on social media, where she was imagining people talking about it, I mean), then it was rude to interrupt with negativitiy. I agree with that. It would be like barging into a group of people who are talking about how much they love, say, Game of Thrones and then saying you hate it. It’s weird on social media, though, because there really isn’t an established etiquette. I mean, there is in certain groups, but because it’s wide open, it’s not always easy to discern the rules for any one group.
I mostly keep my opinion to myself unless I am specifically asked. I just assume that no one wants to hear it, and I”m fine with that. My friends are all willing and eager to hear my opinions, and there are people who do ask. It’s just the general public who have no patience for me. Or don’t understand the way I think. Hell, I don’t completely understand it myself all the time. I try to explain things on the level of the person listening, but that’s not always possible. I give it my best shot, and then I let it go. It’s better for my peace of mind.