Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: points of view

Being normal

I can usually pass for fairly normal if I keep my comments fairly bland. I’m talking about in the gen pop.  I know I’m a weirdo, but I am always finding new ways in which I’m the outlier.

For example, there was a question on Ask A Manager today in which the letter writer (LW) had in enteraction with their colleague that left a sour taste in the LW’s mouth. The way they wrote the question made it seem like it was a matter of business jargon of their company (and they were new). Alison and most of the commenters fixated on this. Alison did address another part of the question (the colleague said he wished the LW treated their colleagues the way they did external customers. When the LW gave an admittedly terrible answer about learning about using a customer voice at business school (sigh), the colleauge said to think of them as internal customers. The LW got stuck on the term, saying they learned ‘internal stakeholders’ and replied, “I’m good, thanks.”

Which, ouch. They go on to say their boss had overheard the whole exchange and how could they make sure their boss didn’t think they were entitled? They added they had gone to college and their boss and colleauges hadn’t (as a reason they think their boss might think they’re entitled). They also said at the beginning of their letter that all their colleagues and boss had worked at the same company together prior to this job.

As I said, Alison focused on the terminology and the fact that the LW was a new person trying to school her colleagues. And the LW got excoriated in the comments. Which surprised the hell out of me.

Now, let me be clear. I don’t think the LW handled the situation well, but I had a radically different interpretation of the events. A few people touched on it in the comments, but they were ignored or shouted down.

First, I will admit that I had no idea about internal customers and internal stakeholders (which I kept thinking was ‘shareholders’ as a German commenter said in the comments–I mean that she kept thinking that, too), so the whole letter was hard to follow. But once I wrapped my head around that, this was my thoughts.

Oh, by the way, it’s amusing to me how mnay people in the comments were so quick to decry college (and higher education) while simultaneously making it very clear that they had the same degrees. But it meant nothing! It didn’t help them at all! Which is probably true for some of them, but they still made sure to mention they had the education.

Side tangent: It’s like in the letters about people getting colleagues to interview their kids for jobs. The people making these comments are so careful to point out that all they do is tell their colleagues about their kids, but their kids do everything else so it’s not that huge a leg up!

Sure. If that’s the case, then don’t do it. I mean, if it’s not really a privilege, then you can take it away with no problem, right? I’m not saying they shouldn’t give their kids a leg up. Why the hell wouldn’t you? I just hate that they’re being disingenuous about it. Same with the college thing. Oh, it doesn’t mean you’re better or that it’s worth anything–but let me be very clear that I, too, have it!


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Why can’t you be just like me?

One thing I’ve been harping on lately is my incredulity that people are incredulous that other people don’t think like them/act like them/believe what they do. I was reading old Ask A Manager posts, and the commentariat went off on a tangent about eating when you’re in a foreign country. Someone commented on how she found it really sad that her inlaws (Chinese) went to France and sought out Chinese restaurants instead of eating French food. She said she loved Chinese food, but she was still sad about their lack of trying French food.

Woman. 100% of East Asian people are lactose intolerant to varying degrees. 100%. Or, to be generous, 99%. What do French people use a shit-ton of? Cheese. And cream. And milk. I recently Googled gluten-free and dairy-free along with France, and they don’t believe in any of that shit. So, yeah, the in-laws sought out Chinese restaurants! Why the hell would you want to eat something that was terrible on your digestive system?

Other people talked about how they knew ‘picky’ eaters who brought food with them when they went to foreign countries, and wasn’t it so sad that they didn’t try the local food because that’s part of the country?

I would agree that food is one part of a country’s culture, but it’s not the only one. And there are several reasons not to eat the local food. People in that post rightly pointed out that it was nobody’s business and that there were several reasons why someone might not eat the local cuisine.

Some people doubled down, though, and said it was fine if it was allergies, but if it was ‘just’ pickiness, well, that was not ok! Excuse me? Why the fuck was it any of their business if someone had a bland palate for medical reasons, because they were ‘picky’, or for any other reason? Such as being a supertaster.

Even if it was that the person was truly being picky because they only liked certain foods, so what? There were several people talking condescendingly about how the person could unlearn being a picky eater. Which, maybe yes and maybe no, but no need to get an attitude about it. Also, again, why did it matter to anyone else? If you are traveling with them and they refuse to go to certain restaurants, then, yes, that’s something for you to cencern yourself about. If it’s just that they don’t want to try anything new, but they’re not imposing on you, then why do you care?

For me, I will never go to most of Europe because they are so big on pasta and cheese. Ican’t eat any of that. When I went to Malta and stayed in a Franciscan monastery, they had pasta for every meal. With cheese. Forntunately, they also had plain meat and plain veggies. Plus, gluten-free bread for breakfast. So I ate, but it was pretty miserable.

I just don’t understand why people care. About what other people eat, I mean. Again, if the person who is eating more plainly insists on not going to any place with the things they won’t eat, that’s one thing. Barely.


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