I’m back to write more about the novel I want to write this November. I tend not to make goals unless I am firm about meeting them because I don’t need to feel bad about anything more than I already do.
I have the strong desire to write a novel this November. Or rather, to write a novel in general, and I’m using November as a springboard for it.
Here’s what I want to include in it (in a general way). I want it to be funny. I tend to write humorously in a way that borders on darkly sarcastic. I am not good with descriptions, so I rely heavily on dialogue (which I am good at). I’m also good at characterization and giving people personalities.
I was a psych major in college, and I have had a life-long interest in the subject. I am really good at reading people, uncannily so. I often know more about people than they know about themselves, but I learned in my twenties to keep that shit to myself.
It’s interesting how freaked out people get when I say something about them that they didn’t know they were revealing. I’ve been in forums where people insist that nobody can do that. Or that empaths aren’t real. Or that it’s always a bad thing when someone says they’re an empath.
It’s like anything else in that if someone insists they’re something or pride themselves on it, yes, it’s a problem. Like the ‘nice’ guy who endlessly talks about how nice he is really isn’t. Or rather, he mistakes basic decency as something he should get kudos for. One should just not identify too strongly with any one thing about themselves.
Each person is the cumulation of many things–not just made up of one thing. That one thing can go in a flash, too, so it’s best not to get too comfortable with it. Like my brother insist that he’s pure logic. He’s not. Yes, he’s more logical than not, but there are ways in which he lets his emotions influence his thoughts and behavior. I’m not saying this is a bad thing! I’m just saying that if someone can’t/won’t see those aspects of themselves, it’s really easy to get scammed.
I can tell within ten minutes of talking to someone so many things about them. When my brother first started dating again, he would tell me about his dates and want me to give him an analysis of each one. He used to joke about having me eat at the table next to theirs so I could do an on-the-spot analysis. I declined (he was only joking, anyway), but I mention it to point out that I have a gift for reading people. It’s not a gift i want, and I would give it away if I could, but here we are.
I am so good at observing people that I can tell when someone is pregnant even before they announce it, and I know the at-birth gender of the baby as well. I’ve also had flashes while watching sports (back when I did) in which I knew what was going to happen next. Like I called David Ortiz’s homerun in the playoff series against, I want to say the Yankees, in extra innings back in the day. My mom was flabbergasted because I said it as soon as he stepped into the batter’s box.
People always counter with, “Well, how about all the times you’re wrong?” I’m not. This is not me guessing as to what is about to happen; it’s me knowing. It happens very rarely, and I have not been wrong once. In fact, my mother who has witnessed me do it several times, has suggested I play the lottery. It doesn’t matter how many times I explain that it’s not something I can do on command; she’s convinced that I can. Or maybe she thinks I make the thing happen by saying it. Either way, it’s real.
Well, there I went again. Nattering on about things that aren’t related directly to this post. But they are related in an indirect way. This is how I write and talk, and I’m not going to change. I’m going to take ten different roads to get to the same point at slightly different times. I’m going to overexplain things, give too much backstory, and focus on minutiae that won’t interest other people.
I will not describe anything because I can picture it in my mind, so why do I need to write it down? I hate reading paragraphs of description, and I’ll start skipping like a fiend with eyes glazed over when I see that there’s more than one line of descriptors.
I think at this point in my life, I’m not going to change. I like the way I write, quite frankly. I know I will not be everyone’s cup of tea, and I’m fine with that. Writers who try to appeal to everyone end up appealing to no one.
I have the intro chapter written in my mind. I also have an idea as to who is going to be the victim and who is going to be the perp. I’m not sold on either, so I think I’ll actually have to start writing to see how it feels. Normally, I am very confident about the actual murder happening (as in who did it to whom), but after the last few attempts being debacles, I am not as sure this time around.
I need to go in with the attitude that anything can happen, and I’ll just let it do so. I’m not going to try to steer it in any way (except to follow the vague outline in my head) and to be chill about it. I tend to be a weird mix of rigid and random, which makes for an interesting combination. I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs several time (I’m not going to get into the validity of it, that’s another post for another day), and while I’ve always scored strongly as an Introvevrt, iNtuitive, and Feeling, I have split evenly between Perceiving and Judging.
In some ways, I’m very exact about things, and in other ways, I loathe a schedule. I think it’s the different neurodivergencies that I have warring with each other that make me veer from one to the other. I’m pretty sure I have autism on some level, but I’m not as sure about ADHD. I suspected I had the latter a decade ago, but I mentioned to someone who had it that I didn’t have trouble focusing all the time. He mentioned hyperfocus, which is another part of ADHD. It’s when you become interested in one thing and focus on it to the exclusion of everything else.
It’s also part of autism, so there’s a double dose of that.
Once again, I have gone off the rails. I will come back to this tomorrow.