So. Since talking to my brother about my ability to read people, I’ve been thinking more about it. For most of my life, I’ve thought of it as something to tamp down and block myself from to the best of my ability. It’s difficult to deal with that kind of input on a daily basis without it overwhelming me. Whether you call it highly-sensitive or empathetic, it’s not something I consider a boon most of the time.
There are a few exceptions to that. One, when I’m helping friends with problems. Then it helps to let a little bit of that feeling in so I can understand what they’re going through. Two, it’s a good way to screen people when I meet them. In addition to my general ability to read people’s emotions/feelings. I am exceedingly adept at sussing out narcissism. It’s from growing up with one and it’s saved my bacon more than once. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work 100% so when a narcissist slips past my filters, it turns out really bad. But in general, I can spot them miles away and flee in the opposite direction.
I’ve told this story several times, but once I spotted one on Twitter and was able to see that he was not what he was positioning himself to be. My group of friends on Twitter were enamored with him. I tried to drop a hint or two that he wasn’t what he seemed, but I was totally ignored (like Cassandra). I gave up and kept well away from him. A few months later, he showed his ass in a spectacular way and everyone realized what a charlatan he was. I tried not to be smug about it, but I was crowing a bit inside.
Most of the time, I don’t tell people about themselves. Again, I understand how weird/creepy/scary it can be if someone else knows you better than you know yourself. I could do it with my brother because he has thick skin and won’t take offense. Also, he forgets negative things fairly easily so it won’t stay with him long. But in general, people are not going to appreciate you giving them insight to themselves.