For most of my life, I’ve had no ass. It has caused me much grief because who doesn’t like a big booty? Well, some people don’t, but they are objectively wrong. There is nothing like a thick, juicy ass to squeeze. Sir Mix-A-Lot got it right when he said that he liked big butts and could not lie. So it was with sadness that I would periodically check my booty and see nothing. I’m Asian. We aren’t known for having junk in the trunk. Or curves anywhere, actually. No idea why I have huge tatas but no ass. You could have taken a cup size from each of my boobs and slapped it on each buttock, then called it a day.
Why am I talking about my ass? Because I want to. But also–well, I’ll get there in a sec.
I have been studying Taiji for 16 years. In the beginning, my reason for doing so was so that I could protect myself. I constructed an attitude that made it so most people would leave me alone. However, I wanted something to back it up in case I couldn’t bluff my way out of a situation.
I researched all the different martial arts. I wanted something that wasn’t just hit things hard. In other words, I wanted an internal martial art. It came down to this or aikido. The latter was too defense-oriented for me, though. The goal is to never do any harm, and while I had no desire to hurt anyone, I also didn’t feel comfortable just being defensive.
I studied under another teacher for a year and a half. He was terrible. He was a letch, a cult leader, and very unethical. I did not like him from the moment I met him, but a friend of mine was besotted. He (my friend) convinced me to try it, and I gave it my best. I really did, but it just got to be too much for me.
I found my current teacher and struggled with the Solo Form for the first year. It’s the basis for everything else we do in Taiji, so it makes sens ethat we learn it first. But, god, I hated it so much. SO MUCH. I wanted to quit, but there was a very tiny voice in the back of my head that told me I should stick it out.
I did. Begrudgingly. Hatefully. I could not make myself practice at home so I added another class per week. Then another. Then I started doing stretches for five minutes a day. That was all I could handle for the first few years. I had various body aches that were exacerbated by learnying the Solo (Long) Form because I wasn’t doing it properly. Once my teacher watched me do part of the Long Form and made corrections, my knee problems went away. Then, she told me to do the floor/knee stretch every day for my back problems. That was a miracle stretch and I no longer have back problems.
I’m almost 52 and in much better shape than I was 20 years ago. I don’t have the aches and pains that most older people grumble about. My eyesight is getting worse, but that’s not something you can halt, even with Taiji.