Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: cheese

Another one bites the dust

More FODMAP shenanigans. I bought extra-sharp cheddar cheese as my newest re-intro food because goddamn I miss cheese. Of the dairy products, cheese is the one that doesn’t have a truly great substitute. There are some decent ones, but none that mimic real cheese. The one that I liked the best, daiya’s farmhouse block style, tasted gross to me months later. Which is sad because dill Havarti is my fave, and they had a Jalapeno Havarti that was delicious the first time I ate it. And the next several times. Then, I didn’t eat it for a few months because it’s only available at the co-op, and when I tried it again, it didn’t taste right.

So. I was nervous about trying the extra-sharp cheddar cheese because while it’s supposed to be the dairy that will have the least effect on a digestive system, well, it still obviously bothers some. I bought the smallest block I could find, and I cut off a relatively small chunk, broke it in two pieces, and put it on top of the sausage patties I eat for lunch (each on top of one half of a gluten-free hamburger bun).

I will admit I sat and looked at it for several seconds because I was nervous about the results. I had built it up in my mind so much, and I was not looking forward to the reaction. I knew I would have one–I just didn’t know how bad it would be. Or rather, I was pretty sure I would have one. There was a small part of me that wondered what if I didn’t have a reaction. I would have felt as if I wasted almost three years of my life. But, on the other hand, it would have meant I could eat cheese!!!! Amazing!

Long story short: I had a reaction. The immediate was that I started wheezing and my throat closed a bit. It wasn’t terrible, but it certainly wasn’t comfortable. Then, my stomach started bloating, and that was uncomfortable as fuck. Then, and this is gross, sorry, I was constipated and had very smelly dairy farts. Hours later, I still had the both, and my asshole was burning. Up until the last bit, I was like, I could maybe put up with this once in a while. But, no. Even today, I still have some lingering effects.


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I’d Like Some Cheese With My Whine

this is my don't fuck with me face.
Go away. You’re bothering me.

I’ve been in a weird mood lately which I’ve documented before. I’m depressed, but I can recognize I have no reason to be depressed. It’s not internal; it doesn’t feel internal; it’s still depression. As a result, I’m more irritated than normal, which is pretty irritated to begin with. I have a bitchy voice in my head almost constantly, but I don’t usually give voice to what it’s saying. It’s like having the MST3K guys in my head giving commentary to what’s happening, but twice as snarky and half as funny.

Speaking of cheese, it’s the one thing I really miss. I’m surprised how little I miss bread (I don’t miss it at all. I do have some substitute bread, though, which is pretty tasty, too), pasta (can still eat pho!), milk (flax milk, yo!), and ice cream (cashew milk ice cream is better than the real thing). Cheese, though. Daiyu shredded pepper jack is a decent substitution for sandwiches as long as it’s melted, but I have yet to find a fake cheese I’d snack on by itself.

I’m having digestive issues again, and a few nights ago, I had a really bad stomach ache immediately after eating grapes. I Googled it because of course I did, and I found out that both grapes and cherries (and I was eating both, but the stomach ache came after eating the grapes. I ate the cherries after) can cause cramps and diarrhea for different reasons. Part of it is ramping up the fiber so quickly, and there’s also a question of fructose with grapes. Either way, it means I probably won’t eat as many grapes in the future. I may have to try other fruits so they’ll be less irritating on my stomach.

I also had problems after eating bananas, which is frustrating. I’m trying to be healthier, and my body just doesn’t appreciate it! Oranges are not a problem. Neither are blackberries. I really like pomegranates, but they’re such a pain in the ass to peel. Mangoes are tasty, but they irritate my tongue. Same with pineapple. I should eat more melons; I’ve never had a problem with them.

Moving on. I try not to get pulled into what this president is tweeting because there’s no point in it, but others will RT him, and I can’t avoid him completely, as much as I’d like to. He’s been at the G20 (gulp), and he had Ivanka sit in for him at some meeting. Again, I’m not paying really close attention, but that was enough to make me wince. She’s not qualified to be doing anything at the G20, but that’s this president’s mentality to a T. He doesn’t care about qualifications at all, and if he likes you, that’s the only qualification needed.

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