I have mentioned more than once that I have a hard time communicating with people. I don’t have a hard time talking to them because I have a very good EQ. I know how to meet people on their level and quickly adjust my language to reflect that. What I have difficulty doing sometimes, however, is conveying my thoughts on complex matters when I’m trying to be brief about it.
My brain thinks on many different paths at once. Plus, people like easy and neat answers. Life rarely provides them. It’s one reason I don’t stick with any community for very long–because ideas become reified in a way that is uncomfortable for me.
I’m usually very careful in how I say/write something, so when someone comes for me in a way I wasn’t expecting, it’s a surprise. I know I can’t possibly see every argument that might come my way, but I normally can see the big ones.
Then, I have to decide if I want to respond or just let it go. I might have a back-and-forth if I’m up to it, but especially online, I don’t often think it’s worth it. I have to calculate what I would say, if I think the person would be up to hearing my argument, and if I could say it in a way that they could understand. Oftentimes, the answer to one, two, or all three of those questions is no.
Back in 2008 during the primaries, I was debating with someone on Balloon Juice about Clinton vs. Obama. The person I was arguing with was an older white woman, and she was saying it was Clinton’s turn (which was something my older white lady doctor had said, too). I don’t believe in turns in politics nor that Clinton should automatically be before Obama because she had been in politics longer. We don’t have oligarchies/monarchies in the States. People are voted into positions for a reason.
That’s not to say that I didn’t believe there was sexism in politics. I did. And I do. There is also racism in politics. And every other systemic issue that permeates society. Politics are a part of society and not set apart from it.