If I were to be completely honest, I wish I never had to think or talk about gender again. I don’t care about my gender. At all. I don’t think about it other than in context of politics. What I mean is that, sadly, gender is not simply personal. It would be nice if it were, of course.
Yesterday, I wrote about how to separate the personal from the political–and how difficult it is to do that. Like, each individual woman saying she chose to shave because she did not like the feel of hair on her legs/armpits and because she did not like the reaction she got isn’t a big thing in and of itself. But when the majority of women respond in that way, then it becomes societal expectation.
When my Taiji teacher said that she wore lipstick and mascara or whatever because it made her feel younger, like she was taking care of herself, and more confident. But, men don’t do that and aren’t expected to do that, so it’s inherently sexist.
The thing is, though, that we all do things that are part of the patriarchy one way or the other. You can’t escape it being a part of this society. Just like we can’t help being racist, queerphobic, and any other ism that any society has. In my case, I have hair hdown to my mid-thighs. That’s very feminine, and I’ve had more than one person comment on it positively. I’ve had short hair before, and I did not get compliments when I did.
In addition, I used my boobs to get drinks in the past and had no qualms about it. I don’t think showing off my ass…ets to my advantage is a bad thing. I don’t know where I draw that line.
I’m naive in that I keep hoping that people will just take each other as they are. I know that people won’t stop judging (I can be very judgey myself), but in the end, if something about a person doesn’t affect you, then why care?
I really don’t get why someone’s gender and/or sexual identity affects anyone other than themselves or whomever they may choose to be with. Me being bi (ugh. I really should find a better word for it) matters why? If you’re not someone to whom I am attracted, than why do you care? Unless you’re just mad because I’m not attracted to you, but that’s not my fault.
I do not get why my gender and sexual identity matter to anyone. Or my lack of procreation. Or me not being married. Or me not being religious. I mean, I get it on a surface level because people are very much about themselves and in-groups. But on a personal level, I don’t get it because who the fuck cares? What I do or don’t do does not affect anyone but me. I mean specifically in the case of whether my gender is female or not, it doesn’t matter to my daily life.