My mom sent me a video of an American neurosurgeon who got encephalitis and was in a coma for two months. He emerged from it with no knowledge of this world, but quickly regained it over the next few days. In the video, he describes how he was in a dark place and then there was a light and a pretty brunette lady telling him he was loved. He said that1’s when he knew there was a loving personal god and that was the message he needed to take back into the world. He’s written two books about his experience and firmly believes in free will. He thinks patients have the ability to direct their own healing.
Which, I must say, is utter bullshit. In my own NDE (near-death experience), I went from simply not being to being in one violent moment. No light. No angelic figure telling me how loved I am. Nothing. Just me opening my eyes with a gasp and panicking at what the fuck was going on. I was scared, angry, and ready to fight whomever needed to be fought. There was no peace and love and all that.
I will say that in the first few halcyon days of being drugged to the gills, I was overflowing with love. I was grateful to be alive and was convinced that it was the support and love from everyone around me that had carried me through. I have said since the beginning that three things helped me through–love, Taiji, and luck. I do believe that the collective is stronger than each individual part. I do believe there is something bigger than us. I don’t believe that’s a specific God with a capital G, however. In addition, I firmly reject the notion that somehow, I deserved to come back more than someone else. This is a particularly American point of view–that we deserve all the good things that happen to us (and , conversely, that we don’t deserve bad things). It’s toxic positivity, which is very American. In addition, it’s confirmation bias. To put it bluntly, people who died from their medical trauma can’t exactly object to what he’s saying, can they?
I’m not dissing his experience. If that’s what comforts him and gets him through, then so be it. If he wants to believe in heaven and pretty angel ladies, that’s his prerogative. That wasn’t my experience, however, and that’s just as valid as his. I mean, if we’re putting such weight on near-death experiences that we don’t have to quantify them at all. What did I learn from mine? That there is nothing other than this life. Or rather, there is love that is bigger than any one of us. We are powerful as a collective. There is a spirit/energy out there that is undefinable, that encompasses us all. But God with a capable G? I’m not as sure about that.