Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: online communities

This para (social) normal life

This past week, there was a huge scandal in the Try Guys community. For the uninitiated, the Try Guys are four guys (Eugene Lee Yang, Keith Habersberger, Zach Kornfield, and Ned Fulmer) who got together at BuzzFeed to try things. That’s their brand, and I really enjoyed their BuzzFeed videos, even if they did edge into cringe territory. Which they did. Even back then. Let me put it this way. I really liked Eugene and put up with the other guys. Ned was my second favorite, and I tolerated the other two. I supported them when they first created their own company, but I did not like the direction in which they were going.

I remember a video in which they were working at a coffee shop in Australia. This was just after they left BuzzFeed. They were drawing dicks in the lattes, and that’s when the luster wore off for me. I’m sure the owners of the coffee shop knew what they were signing up for, but the regular employees (one of whom showed them how to make the lattes) didn’t necessarily have a say in the whole matter. They probably were thrilled to be a part of it, but would they be able to say they were uncomfortable if they weren’t ok with it? Probably not.

As a friend said, sometimes, having a big HR is the right way to do things (BuzzFeed). But, yes, they were being held in check by BuzzFeed, which, again, is a good thing. I get that they are content creators, which is much different than working for an office or construction or retail. But still. When I was acting back in my twenties at Theater Mu (regional Asian American theater company), a friend and I were making very ribald jokes to each other. Someone else came up and told us to rein it in because others may have an issue with it. I bristled at the time, but she was right. We should have been more cognizant of our surroundings. That’s what happens when you’re in theater, though. You forget that there are still standards to which you need to adhere because, hell, we’ve seen each other naked. And, yes, there are people fucking around all over the place.

That video left a bad taste in my mouth. Plus, Keith and Zach decided that they needed to be more exaggerated versions of themselves, which meant more yelling and grimacing. They became less authentic and more like caricatures, and I could barely watch them at times. To be honest, I was only watching for Eugene. I was a Patreon for the a while, but quietly unsubscribed when I had reached my limit. This was probably less than a year into their solo venture.

They pulled their significant others into more of their videos, and the Try Wives have their own podcast. More on that in a bit.


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Living in an echo chamber

I love the internet. I just wanted to get that out of the way because I’m about to do a thousand-word post on why I hate a certain aspect of the internet. First, though, my ode to the internet and how it’s opened up my world. Back in my twenties, I was a hot mess. I was deeply, chronically depressed and could barely drag my carcass out of bed in the morning. I am lucky that I have always had at least one really good friend to moor me (shoutout to Kat who has been there with me throughout the ages), but I still felt isolated and lonely.

The internet changed all that. While sitting at my desk, I can get on my computer and visit places all around the world. I don’t have to leave my house to visit all different kinds of communities that I might not have available in my neighborhood or surrounding areas. I can talk to anyone about anything. It was wonderful and made me feel a little less alone, but not completely. Why? Because even on the internet, I was a weirdo. I was fine with it, but it underscored that even on the wide world web, I was a misfit.

It started when I was into politics and visiting political websites. I would get really into them and then realize a few  months or a year later that everyone was saying the same thing. It was understandable, but I got bored and frustrated because I felt the conversations were stifled. I would move on and try to find something different and then it just repeated itself.


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