It’s not money. I’l/l give you hint. It has something to do with my “bed”, the “night”, and cloosing my eyes. (I sleep on my couch, and I sleep in the morning, thus the quotes around bed and night.) It’s sleep–or rather, the lack of sleep. Before I continue, here’s my post from yesterday in which I talk at length about how I’m even doing autism wrong. And how I view things so differently than normies.
Every time I manage to get eight hours and only waking up once, I’m astounded at how great I feel the next day. Well, great depends on me not being too sleep-deprived to begin with–which isn’t guaranteed. In fact, I would say that I’m usually sleep-deprived*, and it’s not getting any better.
It’s so frustrating because on the surface, it seems like it would be so easy. Just fucking go to bed at a reasonable time. How hard is that? And because my sleep is so off, I could definitely ease into it by going to bed one hour earlier every night. Or if I can’t do that, then one hour later to do the cycle the other way around.
I could take a bath/shower an hour before bed. (No scented anything, though. Because ughhhhhh I’m allergic to everything.) Warm herbal tea; warm milk; warm anything before bed. Exercise, reading, and more. None of it has worked. I’ve even napped before sleeping (not recommended. It just makes me madder at myself because if I’m endlessly nodding off, then I should just go the fuck to bed).
It’s so frustrating. I’ll nod off for ten minutes while watching a video. I’ll rewind to the point where I had nodded off to watch it again. And I’ll promptly doze off again. This will happen four or five times in a row before I finally stay awake. Why don’t I just sleep the first time I nod off? If I could stagger off to bed (couch) before falling asleep, then I could actually sleep for a good long time.
This, apparently, is part of being autistic–having difficulties with sleep, I mean. Another one that I find frustrating is the inability to read tone very well. I have a bleak/dark/sarcastic sense of humor, and I have a hard time reading a dry sense of humar. And tone in words. And with different countries having different senses of humor, I can’t always read tone correctly. My brother has a very dry sense of humor, and while I know thim well enough to get maybe 75% of his jokes, there are times when I’m completely at sea.