I can’t stop thinking about my brother saying of course I didn’t like movies because I was two steps ahead of the plot at all times (because of my high sensitivity to people’s emotions). Funnily enough, that’s why I enjoy mystery books–because I know who the perp is halfway into the novel. I usually know why they did it, too, but not always. And, counterintuitively, I like musicals because of how obvious people’s motives are and how theatrical musicals are. There is no way to mistake them for real life, which is nice.
My brother and I were talking about his inability to distinguish more than the base emotions. He can tell if someone is happy or unhappy, for example, but not to what extent or why. He can’t pick up on their emotions if they are masking to any extent, which made the first few years of his real estate career rocky. He wanted me to help him interact with other people better, but it’s not easy to coach someone on it. He’s the type who’s used to doing anything he puts his mind to do. I gave him a few tips and he was like, “Yeah, yeah, can do”, which made me smile in amusement. Ingrained behaviors are difficult to change. It’s not just a matter of putting your mind to it, which my brother soon learned. One thing I told him was that he talks too fast. So do I, but I’m able to slow it down when needed. He’s not. Another is that he never used to show any interest in other people’s emotions. He was my ride to the airport when I needed it, and he never asked me how a trip went when I got back. Until several years after he started in the real estate business. One time, I came home from a trip to visit Ian and my brother actually asked how it went. I was so gobsmacked, I didn’t answer for several seconds. Now, he’s gotten to the point where he will ask how I am on the regs and such. So he has the basics down of social oiling. Er, you know what I mean.
It’s funny because I’m so attuned to other people’s emotions; it’s one reason I don’t like to be in a crowd. I’m better now that I know how to erect an emotional shield and keep it in place. I am better at maneuvering through crowds so I don’t feel like I’m trapped, largely in thanks to Taiji. I’ve been bringing up the Dunning-Kruger study often in the past few days, the lesser-known effect (people who are good at something underestimate how much better they are at it than other people), and I’m bringing it up again because it fits here. I have always been perceptive about other people’s emotions and motivations. I can see through the veneer that people put up 9 times out of time. Hell, I’d say 97 times out of 100.