Tag: stamina | A Banana Peeled

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Still recovering

Posted on December 1, 2021 by Minna Hong • 0 Comments

I’m unhappy. I don’t think that’s a surprise to anyone who’s been reading my entries for the past few weeks. I’m holding my breath and hoping that my parents will be able to fly out on Saturday, which is five days including today (Tuesday). I’m not very good at the end of things in general. All my impatience surges and it’s really hard for me to tamp it down. It doesn’t help that there’s some question as to whether my father can fly on Saturday or not. He seems much better today, but that varies day to day. Honestly, my impulse is just to pour Dramamine down his throat and shove him on the plane. That’s not very nice, I know, but I have found a darker side of me in the past few months that was previously slumbering in my breast.

When I woke up from being unconscious, I was ready to fight everyone and anyone. I as so grateful, however, for being alive. My brother explained to me that I was supposed to be dead a few days after I awoke so I knew how lucky I was to be alive. And I was properly grateful to my medical team for keeping me alive. My brother said I was overly nice to the nurses because I profusely thanked them for the ice water. But it was because I was obsessed with the ice water and insisted on a fresh cup every time someone came into the room. It didn’t matter how many cups I had in front of me–I always wanted one more. Which was bothersome to them, obviously.

Before I woke up, the doctors warned that I was in for several months of rehab, if not years. There was talk of me going to a rehab facility before going home. They were unsure what kind of brain/heart damage I was going to have. The angiogram showed no weaknesses in my heart, thankfully. That was done the week I was awake in the hospital. That was the only ‘surgery’ I had (and it was just a slit to put in a stent in my arm). And I’ve seen both the heart and head doc since I’ve left the hospital. Both have given me the clean bill of health. All my labs are good and all my tests have been passed with flying colors. I have one more EEG and heart doctor visit and then, that’s the end of my trauma-related appointments. After that, I’m a free person who can resume ignoring my health!

I’m kidding, of course. Sort of. I was not very good at taking care of my health before I landed in the hospital. Which means I need to change some things. The biggest thing is that I need a new primary doctor. The one I met once during the pandemic for the first time, I was not impressed with her at all. I did like the one I met after leaving the hospital to talk about things as related to the trauma. I just have to make it official that he is my primary doctor. Since it’s not yet official, the female doctor messaged me a month or so after I got home from the hospital saying she was sorry to hear about my recent hospitalization. She added that hopefully it made me quit smoking and if not, she was more than happy to help with that. Which, I know it’s her job, but it was very tone-deaf. I was put off by it and my friends agreed that it was not the right time.

The patient needs a little patience

Posted on October 12, 2021 by Minna Hong • 0 Comments

I’m frustrated.

I’ve been home three-and-a-half weeks, all the drugs finally out of my system. The first few weeks, I was too busy readapting to being home to really think of much of anything. And drugged up. I was feeling no pain, believe you me, and I was flying high. When I arrived home, I was pretty close to ‘normal’. I had a mild tremor in my left middle finger; I had difficulty reading fonts (and everyone’s faces were squished together. Two eyes melded into one with the lower half of the face melted into one indistinguishable lump), and; my stamina was pants. That was the biggest thing–I couldn’t do even a tenth of what I used to be able to do.

Where that showed up the most was in my taiji practice. Before the hospital (BH), I did stretches for ten minutes, form and other posture work for ten minutes, and weapons for half an hour to forty-five minutes. Now, I do stretches for fifteen minutes or more, maybe five or seven minutes of form/posture work, and…sigh.

I have a hard time thinking about the weapons, let alone talking about them. BH, I did half a Sword Form every day, alternating left and right sides. I also did the Double Sabre Form every day, doing it as a form. Every other day, I did it as a dance to a different song. Or maybe I alternated every day? That’s possible. I did one row of the Sabre Form every day, both sides. I did a full form once a week. Did I do both sides? I think? It’s hard to remember, sadly. I did the sword drills twice a week, but only one rotation over the two days. Both sides. Four rows of the Karambit Form once a week. Walking the circle with the Deerhorn Knives on two different days (one way one day and the other way the next). I was learning the Cane Form and did a row of it (which I had learned before) once a week. I was nearly done learning the second row. I knew a few staff/spear drills which I did every day as well.

When I first got home, I, of course, tried to do the Sword Form with my steel sword. That was a mistake. I made it through three or four postures (movements, but I still call them postures) before my body said, “Oh, to the hell no!” I immediately knew it was a mistake and put the sword away. A few days later, I tried it with a wooden sword, but that was still too much. I could do more, but it was so tiring.

I knew I could get the Sword Form back, both right and left side, because I’ve done it hundreds if not thousands of times. It was the first weapons form I learned and how I fell in love with the weapons in the first place. I’ve told this story countless times, but I’m going to tell it once again. My teacher tried to get me to learn the Sword Form to no avail. I was adamant that I did not want to learn the weapons, no way, no how. After countless fruitless attempts to convince me, she held a wooden sword out to me and said, “Just hold it. That’s all I ask.” I reluctantly took it in my hand and the second my fingers closed over the hilt, I knew this was what I wanted to do with my life.