I’m in a pensive mood. Not just because of the holidays, but just because of gestures at the world all around. There are people who believe that voting for that man is ‘just politics’ and why would someone end a friendship/family relationship over ‘just politics’? And why are we (those on the left) being soooooooooooooo intolerant? Aren’t we being just as bad/hypocritical/intolerant?!?
In a word: no. In two words: hell fucking no. Ok, that was three, but you know what I mean.
There’s a theory called the Paradox of Tolerance that was coined by Karl Popper in 1945. It’s enjoyed a resurgence in the past several years, probably because of the thing that I want to talk about. Basically, the theory goes that if a society is tolerant of the intolerant, then it erodes the very tolerance it wants to espouse. This is a very gross generalization of the theory, but it’s good enough for my purpose.
Whether someone likes pizza with pineapple or not is a personal opinion. I don’t care if someone likes the same musical groups I do, for another example. Hell. What someone wants or doesn’t want to do in the bedroom is fine by me! (As long as it’s consensual, obviously.) Whether or not someone thinks I am a human being who should be allowed to exist? Yeah, no. That’s not a matter of opinion or something I need to entertain.
That’s the devious part of the whole conversation and has been for as long as I have followed politics. Or rather, the disgusting part. This happened during the debates for marriage equality, too. The bigots were all, “Can’t we be civil about this?” Nope. I am not civil with people who believe I am less of a human being than they are. Also, I resent the narrative that the people who are being oppressed need to present their side in a perfectly calm and, let’s face it, servile manner or be viewed as uncivil. This is the whole ‘tone police’ argument, by the way. “Oh, if you only present your case in an agreeable enough way (i.e., supplicating), then maaaaaaaaaybe we would deign to listen to it.
Again. Fuck that noise. If someone wants to do the work of trying to win over the bigots–more power to them. BLah blah blah win them over to your side whatever the fuck. I ain’t got time for that shit, and I have no patience for begging people to grant me my humanity. Accept me or don’t, but I am not going to try to win anyone over.
I’ve done this for decades, and it’s getting worse in some ways. It’s wild to me that nearly a decade ago, marriage equality became a thing. It seemed like suddenly, but it was a long time coming. Now, queers are scrambling to get married in case marriage equality geets overturned.
I don’t care about marriage. I have never cared about marriage. But I do care about equality, especially when it’s for my people. There is a cold fury in my heart right now. I went through an intense period of hate–and I will be real with you. I still have hate in my heart. I am not going to be the bigger person or try to persuade them to treat me as a human being. Fuck that and (don’t) fuck them.
I hate the smarminess/fake piety of ‘you won’t win them over with anger’. I don’t fucking care. They should care about winning me over to the side of viewing them as human. It’s funny how indignant bigots get when you flip the script on them. See them becoming completely unhinged about ‘happy holidays’ vs. ‘Merry Christmas’. Also, see being requested/required to wear masks in stores during the pandemic.
Yet, asking them to simply treat people who are not like them as human beings, that’s asking too much. That’s being intolerant. That’s being mean.
Fuck all that noise. Fuck the bigots. And fuck being understanding. I can explain until I’m blue in the face how it hurts my feelings or makes me feel like lesser that they treat me and my kin this way. But why should I? More to the point, it won’t matter. It’s fucking 2024. If by now, the bigots can’t grasp that queer people are humans, that immigrants are humans, that disabled people are humans, that POC are people, then they never will.
I have thought for some time that America should not be one country. We are too divided on some basic principles, and the humanity of the minorities should not depend upon who is in power. It just simply should not. Being able to get an abortion should not depend on what state in which you live. Being able to marry your beloved, same. I’ve read lawyers who say that even if marriage equality is revoked, they probably won’t overturn previous marriages or allow red states to discriminate against queer people who were married in safe states.
This should not even be a question! There should be no reason that queer people need to hurry to get married before the turnover of the federal government. The thing that gets to me about all this (bigotry against queer people) is how little it affects people who aren’t queer (i.e., not at all). If someone who isn’t queer doesn’t like queer people, the hets don’t have to do anything with queer people! I mean, yes, they may have to work with us, but they have to work with a lot of people they don’t like. Put in your eight hours, go home, and STFU.
Straight people don’t have to be friends with queer people. Hets don’t have to pay any attention to queer folks in their personal lives. Hets can be just as rude and uncivil as they like to us queers and then ignore us as much as they like. They don’t have to date queer people. They don’t have to befriend queer people. They don’t have to have anything to do with queer people. And yet, they want to eradicate us from the face of the earth. I don’t think that’s hyperbole. If they could get rid of us, they cheerfully would.
Here’s what I said the day after the election (or soon thereafter). I am ‘lucky’ enough that I can hide many of the things that would make me a target. Being queer (bi), agender, areligious, etc. These are things that if I just don’t bring them up, I won’t have to deal with the ramifications. As for the first two, since I’m not dating anyone at the moment, that won’t come into play, either.
The ones that are visible–race, age, weight–are things that won’t be poked at where I live. In addition, being Asian means being invisible except when being blamed for things like COVID. I live in a very progressive pocket of Minnesota, so I’m relatively safe. But that’s a very precarious precipe to be teetering on.
I’m done for today. I’m sure I’ll have more to say later.