I like being a weirdo for the most part. It doesn’t bother me except when it comes to health issues. I’m allergic to everything and have a bad reaction to everything else. Yes, I know that’s not possible, but roll with me on it. I know that I’m going to have an outsized reaction to everything from allergies to bug bites to medication. I just accept that if it takes most people a few days to get over things, it’ll take me a week.
Which is fine and dandy, but the issue is that when something out-of-the-norm happens, I tend to think it’s normal for me. For example, I got a yellow jacket sting a week ago today. It swelled up and got red and stayed that way for a few days. Fine. I cleaned it out and iced it, and I assumed it’d be fine in a week or so. Everything I read said that it should be ok within a day or two. I dismissed that because I knew it wasn’t true. My Taiji teacher’s husband had severe reactions to wasp stings in which everything around it would swell up like a balloon. He took Benadryl which helped, and the swellen would slowly decrease over a week. Same with her own bites.
So, yeah, I wasn’t worried when the swelling and redness didn’t disappear in two days. It was going down, albeit slowly, and I figured it would be fine in a week or so. I will admit I scratched at it a bit, which is not a good thing. Obviously, but it was so itchy. I did my best, but I gave in to the impulse to scratch now and again.
Yesterday, I woke up and it was swollen and red again. I wasn’t feeling great, but it wasn’t anything obvious like wanting to vomit or diarrhea. Plus, my finger didn’t actually hurt. I slathered antibiotic cream on it and anti-itch lotion. I talked about it with a few people, and they were like, you could get it looked at. Neither were too concerned, and neither was I.
Today, however, I woke up and it was angry red, stiff, and swollen. I had a hard time bending it. It still didn’t hurt, but I was worried. I called my doctor’s office and talked to a nurse. She had me describe it to her. She wanted me to take a pic, but then corrected herself. She said because of how large the red section was (from above the second knuckle to an inch or so on the back of my hand), I should come in today if possible. She mentioned cellulitis, which is an infection. Which was mentioned in the research I had done, but just glancing.
I had been worried about an allergic reaction, but I knew that was immediate. I didn’t think about that it could be infected, but once she mentioned it, it was so obvious. I got an appointementt for today (with the doctor I had left, but I can’t be choosy because i need it to be seen).
The nurse mentioned antibiotics, and I was like, “Of course! That’s what they can do.” Which is to say that it’s easy to get trapped in the thinking of, “Well, there’s nothing the docs can do”, especially because my reactions are so outsized. It takes me not being able to breathe in order for me to actually take action, apparently.
I’m back from the doctor appointment. She’s really great in person. I had only interacted with her on he phone before (and emails). So maybe she’s more an in-person pperson. Anyway. She confirmed it was infected and prescribed horse pills for me. Antibiotics, I mean. i have to take them twice a day, and the pharmacist made sure to tell me that I had to take them with food. And to take the full week. I know that about antibiotics–even if you’re feeling better, you have to take the whole slate.
In a weird way, I’m relieved that it’s infected. At least I know it’s not in my head and there is something I can do about it (take the horse pills). Before I went to the doctor, I was convinced that it was just in my head/a normal reaction because of my weird body.
It’s my default position to assume something is me rather than an outside force. When my finger started blowing up again, I just assumed I was reacting to the venom again. That didn’t make sense, but it was all I could think of. I didn’t even consider that it could be an infection. I don’t know why. Cellulitis is the official term for it. But that makes sense. I did scratch it when it was unbearably itchy, and that probably opened the skin enough to let the infection creep in.
This is an allegory for how my brain thinks. I can come up with one or two obvious answers, but past that, I get stuck. I’m not great at brainstorming because I see the obvious solutions and the wild ones, but nothing in between.
Hopefully, I’ll remember to take the pills twice a day. My current plan is to take the one in the morning with the one pill I have to take with food and then the second pill with the pill I take at night. That one does not say with or without food, soI ‘ll just take it with. I sometimes forget about the later pill, but I’ll make a note of it in my google calendar, maybe.
It’s funny how just being diagnosed has put my mind somewhat at ease. I kew it wasn’t an allergic reaction, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t normal, either. I wasn’t hugely concerned about it until I woke up this morning and it was all puffy and stiff. I’m glad I listened to my instincts and called the clinic. My doc said to take pics and compare to see if the swelling has gone down. We’re going for a week of antibiotics, but she said we’d add three days if needed.