I have more to say about martial arts. This is probably not a surprise as I tend to obsess over things–especially when I see something that spurs on my interest. Such as the demo. Or watching videos of my teacher’s teacher doing different forms. I wrote yesterday how my mind was blown by him doing the Cane Form with the saber. I included the video in yesterday’s post, and I’m going to include it again in this post. Why? Because I can and it’s fantastic.
I am going to try to thin kof weapons in a broader sense. I tend to be rigid in my thinking and a rules follower (unless I don’t see the point of the rule, and then, fuck the rules), so while I will strive to do the weapon forms well, I will also strive to think of ways to go outside the box.
One thing I’ve always appreciated about my teacher is that she is so good about being chill. The whole point of Taiji is to relax and be as lazy as possible. It’s about using minimal effort for maximum outcome.
In addition, my teacher does not want anyone to get hung up on being perfect. As she likes to say, you can make as many mistakes as you like. It doesn’t matter if you’re a newbie or if you’ve been doing it for decades. You are still allowed to make mistakes.
It’s through Taiji that I learned how to be not as perfiectionistic as I used to be. I’m not totally cured, but I’m much better than I was before.
In addition, as I said yesterday, my forms are decent. I can finally admit that. In context of her classmates and just on my own. My weapon forms are solid. And my teacher has actually said that she trusts me to choose whatever I want in weapons. That’s a big compliment. I think I am the only student of hers who is so into weapons. I have classmates who like them, but not to the extent that I do. I can’t think of any who know more than the Sword Form and maybe the Cane Form.
Skeaping of the Cane Form, I have shorn mine up, thankfully. My teacher’s teacher has a video of him doing it (well, at least the first row. I’m assuming he has the other rows, too), and I’m doing another polish up from watching his video.
That in tandem with using the saber to do the Cane Form has me feeling happy. I need it given the state of the world around me. There’s something about learning a new form (or an old form with a new weapon) that really takes the weight off my shoulders. i can get absorbed in it like nothing else, and I don’t have to think about anything else.
I have included it just above this paragraph, and it has blown my mind.
When I first did the Saber Form, I was so disappointed that it wasn’t like the Sword Form. In fact, I hated the Saber Form for being so…well, clunky. And low-brow, so to speak. It was taught to the infantrymen in order to use them as meat shields. They weren’t meant to survive, sadly–which very few of them did.
Imagine how wild it is that the second most elegant/difficult weapon is taught first. The Sword Form is for the scholar’s weapon form, and it’s meant to be oh-so-delicate. Why it’s taught first, I’m not sure, but I can imagine it turning off a fair few people.
From that, I assumed that the Saber Form would be the same or similar, and I was mad/resentful when it wasn’t. When I went back to it a few years later, I was in a much better place to appreciate it. Now, I don’t love it, but I don’t hate it, either. I’m positive towards it, but not in love with it.
Until now. Well, no, I’m stil not in love with it, but doing it to the Cane Form makes me appreciate it even more. When I was doing it today in that way, I suddenly saw how powerful the saber can be. In the other form, yes, it’s powerful, but it’s mostly drills. Except for the end of the fourth row. That has a few fancy movements.
I like being able to do the Cane Form with the Saber Form because it’s like my brain gets to learn this one neat trick. A two-for-one special? Yes, please!
It’s so weird to me that I am fine with the Saber Form (though not crazy about it), and I tolerate the Cane Form. Neither ar e my favorite by a country mile. But using the saber to do the Cane Form? Instant favorite, and I could not tell you why.
I do know that applications are life to me. I love knowing how something I’m doing would, say, slice someone’s tendon to shreds. For example. My teacher and I cackle in glee at all the ways we could hurt someone. Importantly, though, only theoretically. Neither of us would want to hurt someone, but if we had to, we would.
I finally feel like I could competently use my martial arts for defense. I would not have been able to say that even a year ago. But now, I can. Why? I don’t exactly know why. I do think it has something to do with me getting serious with the weapons, even though I would not ever expect to have to actually use one–nor would I carry one with me. Except a fan or maybe a cane.
When I am learning something new and exciting, I get a tingle in my soul. That’s how I feel now. As I’m watching the video and trynig to remember what I saw, I get a butterfly feeling in my stomach.
I have gone over the first two rows with minor tweaks and refinements as I go. It’s fucking cool. I will go over the other two tomorrow and see if I feel ready to move on. I probably will spend a few days on the second two rows because they are more difficult (especially the last row), but I don’t foresee it being too tremendously hard. Who knows? I may get caught up and have to bash my head against a wall for a while, but I doubt it.
I had my difficulties with the Saber Form, but I was able to hash them out over time. Now, I can do it with ease. The Cane Form, on the other hand, has been a very bumpy ride. The last row in particular has given me fits and starts.
More tomorrow.