I finished teaching myself the Cane Form with the saber, and the last row was surprisingly much easier than I thought it would be. That’s because I watched my teacher’s teacher do it with the cane (he has the whole Cane Form online), and I cleaned up my form based on what I’m seeing from him. He changes up the forms so often, it’s hard for my teacher to keep up. She teaches me the latest that she has gotten, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t changed it again afterwards. Or that she didn’t misunderstand what he was doing.
I mention this because in the last row, I was struggling with a few of the movements. I could not make it work in my brain no matter how hard I tried. Then I watched my teacher’s teacher do it, and it was different from what my teacher had done. I don’t know if it’s a previous iteration or a more recent interation, but either way, it made sense to me.
One thing my teacher tries to emphasize is that while, yes, you want to learn the form correctly, with actual application, the steps don’t matter quite as much. What I mean is that you don’t have to follow the form slavishly because it’s more about utility than aesthetics.
Here’s the thing about the Cane Form. I have struggled with it for so long. I never truly got it (I mean, I got how to do it, but not the feel of it), and I was doing it by rote.
Same with the Saber Form. I had come to appreciate it more, but it was never my favorite. I was dutiful about it because I do all my forms. But it was the same as with the Cane Form. I just didn’t vibe with it.
Then, as I’ve said, I saw that my teacher’s teacher had a video of him doing the Cane Form…with the saber. It broke my mind, but in a good way. You see, i tend to be a rules follower (until I’m not), and in doing my forms, I just followed what I was taught/learned.
I had seen some people at my teacher’s school do forms they made up themselves, and I had messed a bit with different forms myself. I did the forms to music as well, which was very cool.
Now, however, all I want to do is make up forms. I’ve tried a few, but the one that has vibed with me is the karambit and the fan together. That’s right! Not satisfied to do anything safe and easy, but to dive into the deep end.
Side note: I always do things the hard way. Not on purpose, but that’s just the way my brain works. In the Solo Long Form, it’s the kick section, which is at the end of the second section. Nobody likes that section, but me, apparently. It’s hard and a test of your balance, but I took dance lessons for ten years. Balance is not a problem of mine for the most part.
When I saw my teacher’s teacher doing the Cane Form with a saber, something clicked in my brain. It felt good to watch is a way I cannot quite explain.
Let me put it this way. You know how some people really like the ASMR? That’s like nails on a chalkboard to me. It makes me angry, and I found out through research that people with misphonia are very likely to hate ASMR.
I always thought I was weird to go into instant rage when I heard ASMR, and I was relieved that there was actually science to back it up. I wasn’t just being sensitive or precious or a snowflake–it was actually a thing.
I am not being hyperbolic when I say that hearing ASMR makes me want to punch someone in the face. Hearing/reading about others who felt the same filled me with relief. I was used to feeling like (being told) that I was overreacting–
Side note: I really wish I’d known when I was a teenager that I wasn’t being a delicate flower with my sensitivity to smells, sounds, sights, etc. That this was actually legit, and I did not need to beat myself up about it.
Anyway. As bad as ASMR makes my brain feel, that’s how good doing the Cane Form with my saber makes the same brain feel. I get little frissons of pleasure the whole time I’m doing it.
I went into the fourth row thinking it would mess me up, but after watching my teacher’s teacher do it with the cane and with the saber (separately), I finally got it. And I was able to do it with the saber with little problem.
I love it so much. And I’m surprised because I did not like either that much beforehand. That’s what I mean when I say that the sum is better than any of the individual parts. The saber? It’s solid, but nothing exciting. The cane? It’s fine, but by far not my favorite. The saber in the Cane Form? FUCK YEAH!
I cannot tell you why it works or why I love it so much. I can’t tell you why it’s leapfrogged into my top three forms. I can’t point out anything indivdually except to say that it just feels so damn good.
I can’t wait to teach myself the left side. Given how smooth it was for me to learn the right side, I don’t anticipate much difficulty with the left side. I don’t want to have too much hubris about it, though, because I have fucked myself before in being overly confident.
Another thing it’s done is get me excited about the weapons again. I mean, I always love the weapon forms, but I will admit that sometimes, my feet drag while doing them. Or rather, I get into a rut and do them by rote.
Doing the Cane Form with the saber has energized me and makes me want to do so many different forms. Or use different weapons for different forms. Now that I’ve followed the rules, I can break them with impunity. And I will.