Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: grumpy

Not Down with the Sickness

I’m sick. Again. I feel like a broken record (do the kids even know what a record is these days?) because I’ve bees saying this every few months in the same resigned tone. This time, it started with a tickle in the back of my throat that turned into a coagulated mess blocking my throat. Every so often, I have to give a very concentrated (and loud) HUUUUUUUUAH to clear my throat, and it immediately becomes blocked again. Hm. Reminds me of Congress.

Anyhoo. I alternate between chilled and flushed, and I’m mostly huddling miserably under my blanket with only my cat, Shadow, to tend to me. He has many sterling qualities, but nursing is not one of them. He can’t make and bring me a cup of tea, for example. What he CAN do is snuggle with me (which he’s doing right now. Well, he’s snuggling next to me, which is close enough), and I do appreciate it. What I don’t appreciate is when he meows incessantly in the morning the second I’m awake until I get out of bed to feed him.

I’m drinking my tea, sucking on my cough drops, and trying to get enough rest while watching the old seasons of The Great British Bake Off. That’s about all I can do right now. Here’s a video of Alan Rickman making tea. Damn, I miss him. Still? Always.

Please Do Not Disturb

I was going to rant about the latest mass shooting, but I woke up feeling feverish, exhausted, and grumpy. So, instead, I’m going to hunker down, drink copious amount of fluids, and shiver under my blankets. Here is a video of Elajjaz speed-running the bosses in Bloodborne in a little over an hour using at least one known glitch. He’s a good streamer, and I like him in general. Enjoy.

It’s All in My (Stuffy) Head

I’ve woken up on the wrong side of the couch for the past several days. You know how some days everything gets on your last goddamn nerve? The cat is a bit too insistent in his mewing (stop pressing your cold wet nose on my bare flesh, Shadow!); the coffee is a tad too bitter, no matter how much sugar I add; I don’t want to do my morning regime; the sun is too damn bright, etc. I’m grumpy, and I know it’s irrational. My patience, which is already short, is even shorter, and I’ve snapped at the people around me though they’ve done nothing wrong. I usually have a sarcastic voice running through my brain, but I’m careful not to give voice to it to often. In the past few days, I’ve been less able to keep it under wraps, and I’m trying to bite my tongue rather than go off on people who don’t deserve it.

I went off on a rant in taiji yesterday about not having children. Now, I’m pretty clear in general that I’ve never wanted children. I’m comfortable with saying I’m gleeully childfree. But, for whatever reason, as we were talking about having kids (me, my teacher who also never wanted children, and one other classmate, an older Indian woman who does not have bio-children of her own), I was getting riled up and said the idea of having children repulsed me. I immediately felt bad about it because I don’t know if my classmate is childfree by choice or not, and I clarified that it was just repulsive to me, not that I thought it was repulsive in general. It’s true that I am repulsed by the idea of having children, but it’s not something I normally would say or needed to say.

I got really mad at someone driving slowly in the left lane and screamed some really nasty things at them (not directly as I was behind them, but yeah, not cool). It’s one of my pet peeves, but normally, I just sigh loudly and deal with it.  At Cubs, I was miffed by the person who parked their cart in the exact middle of the aisle, and at the co-op, by the person who was blocking the (walking) lane with his person and didn’t move an inch as I approached. Again, these are pet peeves of mine, but I normally just shrug and move on with my day. I didn’t say anything to either of these people, but the snark in my head was real, yo.

Not by coincidence, I’ve also woken up with my ears being messed up these last few days. I tend to have ear problems in that they get crusty, then I pick at the crustiness, and then they scab over. I pick at the scabs, which of course makes it worse. I also have a stuffy nose, which I initially thought it was allergies, but now I think may be a precursor to sinus troubles. In addition, whenever I shift my head too suddenly, I’ve gotten really dizzy. I asked my taiji teacher about it, and she said it could be sinus issues. I’ve had issues with dizziness all my life, but it’s usually just a little bit and only very rarely. Having it three days in a row and pretty violently is unusual and disconcerting.


Continue Reading

Life is But a (Fevered) Dream

I went to taiji for the first time in weeks. Just driving there was an adventure as I didn’t sleep well last night for several reasons. Ironically, one way I know I’m getting better is because I’m not able to sleep as much as I did when I was really sick. For whatever reason, my body thinks sleep is for chumps, and it won’t let me do much of it when I’m healthy. When I’m sick, though, it relaxes its strictures, and I can get eight hours in one stretch! If I’m lucky.

It was really good to do a little taiji, even though I got tired very easily. It was also good to catch up with my taiji teacher and talk about the retreat at her teacher’s studio this past Saturday. Even though we didn’t do much, I was tired on the way home, and when I stopped by the co-op, I couldn’t find my wallet. I was freaking out. Where had I left it? I hadn’t taken it out of my purse for some time, so where was it? I apologized to the cashier and told her I’d check in my car, even though I doubted I’d find it there. I didn’t, but I decided to do one last sweep of my purse–and there it was, right in plain sight. I had searched my purse three times and didn’t find it, and, yet, there it was, staring back at me. I went back in, paid for my groceries, and apologized again. My brain was definitely fried, and I was grateful to make it home safely.

Recovery is slow, and I have to be careful not to push myself. I don’t want a setback. My latest self-diagnosis is aliens eating my face. At least they’re quiet about it now. I’m sure it’s some kind of sinus problems, but I don’t have any discharge, so it’s not a sinus infection or a sinus headache. Whatever it is, it’s slowly getting better. To celebrate, here is a video of two tiny hamsters on a tiny date.

Update

I’m slowly and painfully getting better, but it’s like climbing Mount Everest. I still feel as if my face is getting chewed off, and I’m bone tired. Sorry there is no POOG post today. Here is a video of Maru sleeping on his back on the couch. He kinda looks like me.

If you’re going out drinking because it’s St. Patrick’s Day, be safe and smart about it!