Let’s talk more about safe spaces and why it’s so hard to make a space even minimally space. Well, it’s not hard, per se, but it’s difficult. I’ll explain more in a bit.
In yesterday’s post, I was talking about how it’s much harder to establish a safe space than it was to have a base tolerance for diversity. Back in the aughts when the question of queer rights became more visible, I was more on the side of tolerance rather than acceptantce because you can’t really mandate feelings and because tolerance is a much lower bar to clear. As to the question of legality, I would much rather get a law pass with the straights hating it but following it than waiting until they accept/are positive on it.
I still hold that to be true of laws because we need our legal rights protected (as we see now that they’re getting repealed and rolled back left and right), but it’s different when it comes to safe spaces. This is supposed to be a place where we’re not merely tolerated, but embraced and meant to feel included.
Side note: There is a robust debate about inclusivity versus diversity, and I do not want to get into that in this post. For the purpose of this post, I will just say that I do think both are important and leave it at that.
Back to safe spaces.
I haven’t been involved in any community lately that has explicitly stated it’s a safe space with specific parameters. I think it’s easy at the very top level. No isms allowed. Easy-peasy. Until you drill down into what that actually means. Obviously, no overt racism, sexism, queerphobia, gender hatred, religious intolerance*, etc.
*I always hesitate to include this one because it’s more complicated than the others. Why? Because so much harm is done in the name of religion, and right now in America, so much of it is aimed at queer people. I think the line should be drawn between actions that actively harm others and those that don’t.
Meaning, people should be allowed to practice their religion as they see fit until it infringes on the civil rights of other people. See, even here we get into the question of where do you draw that line between–you know what? No. This is not a gray area to me. I’m not going to ‘both sides’ it, not even a little bit.
I truly do not care about someone’s religion–unless it affects me. I had religious trauma until I was–well, I don’t think I’m completely over it, but Taiji really helped me with that. Not in a directly correlative way, but because Taiji was so helpful to me in a variety of ways, including partially-healing some of the traumas I’ve been through. Or at least starting the healing process.
I was raised by fundamental Evangelical Christians, and I went through a “I’m very angry about it” phase during my twenties. Leaking over into my thirties. And my forties. Yes, it ran deep. Plus the fact that America, despite it purportedly being a country with no official religion has “In God We Trust” on its money. And where you used to have to pledge allegiance to the flag, one nation under God in school. Dunno if kids still have to do that, but that doesn’t scream a country of no religion to me.
Now, with the rise of the far right using Christianity as one of the excuses to cram through anti-queer legislation that is truly hateful, well, let’s say that I’m not as sanguine about Christianity as I had managed to attain ustil a year or so ago.
Because their religion is now not only theirs, but I and other queer people are forced to deal with it as well. They want to take away our civil rights, and I’m so fucking tired of it. I have not liked any Republican president who has been in charge since I could vote, but before, I could at least understand why they were making the choices they did. Even when I vehemently disagreed with those choices. I believed that they believed they were doing what was right for the country.
With this president? Not a chance in hell. He doesn’t give a rat’s ass about anyone or anything other than him. Anything he does has to benefit him, mainly in covering him in glory. (Or so he thinks.) Because of course anything he does is going to be YUUUUUUGE. his ego won’t let thim consider anything else for a second.
Back to religion. Far too often, religious people think that because they worship their god, other people have to as well. Let’s just take Christianity because that’s the religion I know best. I’ve had people argue with me that I should do this, that, or the other thing because of what their god would think or say.
It has no effect on me because I don’t believe in their god so why would I believe in what their god says/does/thinks? After dying (twice), I have the added benefit of knowing that the only thing following death is darkness. Some may argue that because I came back (twice), I don’t really know what happens after someone dies. I mean, I was dead-dead for at least a minute, so unless God is on some kind of time-release, I am comfortable in saying they don’t exist–at least not the one I grew up learning about.
I am not arrogant enough to say that a god definitiely does not exist. In fact, I tend to believe some kind of higher being/power exists because I find it more unbelievable that there was absolutely nothing before the Milky Way suddenly appeared out of nowhere, but I can’t reconcile the Christian god with what I know about life–mine and life in general.
I want to find a queer Asian group that is mostry nonbinary/agender/genderqueer, etc. I’m fairly certain there won’t be much religiosity to it, though there are queer people who are religious, obviously. But I would expect there to be less of the very strident religious people who are queer and/or genderqueer.
Is this a bias on my part? Yes. But it’s also supported by polling. And it makes sense because so many religions are anti-queers.
Well, that went off the rails, but in a productive way. More tomorrow. Oh, that was one hell of a footnote.