More Elden Ring because it’s all I care about right now. I am going to talk about an NPC questline I just finished, which means there will be MASSIVE spoilers because, well, I think it’s obvious why. So here is your warning that the whole post will be filled with spoilers that span the whole game. Still here? Then let’s get to it.
The questline is Ranni’s, known as the Snow Witch, and she’s the one who gives you the spirit summoning bell in the beginning of the game–but only if you visit the Church of Elleh at night. She is, by the way, one of my favorite NPCs–along with Blaidd, her warrior dude. He’s half-wolf, and he is BAE. It’s actually his questline that starts hers, and it’s his questline that I missed. You go to an area called the Mistwood Ruins and hear wolf howls. Then, the next time you talk to Kale, the nomadic merchant in the Church of Elleh, he tells you about his friend, the half-wolf. Kale gives you the finger snap emote, which he says to use the next time you hear the howling.
Great! Wonderful. Of course, I went to find the half-wolf man, but I could not find the spot where I had heard the wolf howls. In part, it was because I was fleeing from angry bears, tbh. I looked and looked, but could not find the half-wolf man, so I reluctantly gave up.
Side Note: I found out later that you have to go to Mistwood Ruins, which I knew, and look UP because he’s sitting on top of a tower. Then, he’ll howl and you do the snap to make him come down. He tells you about someone he’s hunting, who is in one of the Evergaols. If you go to take on this enemy, Blaidd will be there as a summon. I had already killed the enemy in this Evergoal, which might be why I couldn’t trigger Blaidd in Mistwood Ruins. Maybe. Who knows?
Anyway, I knew that he existed as he was in the trailers, and I was sad that I had missed him. Then, I went to talk to Ranni in her rise, and to my relief, she referenced Blaidd. I got to talk with Blaidd’s spirit form (along with Iji’s, the war counsellor, and Selvius, the repulsive sorcerer, who I’m sure is based on Severus Snape), which made me happy.
You’re not actually talking to Ranni herself as she makes it clear when you talk to her. She’s in a deep sleep and is only inhabiting the form of a doll. She asks you to enter her service and of course I said yes. Basically, whenever an NPC asks me to do something, I do it. There is always great extra content there.
Side Note: I was talking with Ian about Patches. The first time you meet him in this game, there is a treasure chest next to him and he tells you to go on and open it. Of course I did and of course it was a trap. I got transported to a place with bears and had to race madly around to try to find a Site of Grace. I think I died, but I can’t remember. I went back to talk to Patches, and of course I forgave him. I can’t stay mad at Patches! Later on in his questline, he does the more traditional kicking me off the ledge, and I chuckled ruefully because I knew he was going to do it and allowed him to do it, anyway.
Oh! My point. Ian refused to open the treasure chest. He said Patches was too keen and made it obvious it was a trap. Of course it was obvious. Patches is always too obvious about his intent. But I’m always going to follow his requests. Hey! Doing so later in the game has netted me a really cool magma whip.
Back to Ranni. After entering her service, I went about my life. I didn’t jump on her quest right away, but when I did, I couldn’t imagine it’d be so complicated and intricate. Blaidd tells me he’s going down a well. I know that well! I had already found that well. When I first saw that well, I explored, then scurried away because of the ghostly minotaurs who were lethal. They were so enraging, I could not deal with it. When I returned, they were still annoying AF, but I mostly ran about and eluded them as best as possible. Wait. Were they in the Ainsel River Well or the other well? It’s the other well. This one had giant ants all over the damn place. I made it to the boss of this area before meeting Ranni, I think, but could not beat him. I tried so many times.
Side Note II: I still don’t have 30 Vigor, and I’m really feeling it now. At that time, I might have had 15? Maybe? It was not enough to take on this boss, I’ll tell you that much. In fact, I think that’s why I refused to do the questline at first–because it was just so enraging.
Siofra River Well is the other one with the ghostly minotaurs. They enraged me, especially the archers who could kill me in one shot. I basically had to race around them and light the steles that needed lighting. Weirdly, the boss wasn’t that difficult–not nearly as difficult as the one in Ainsel River–but this one gave me a Remembrance (which is like a boss soul in previous games).
So I did both of these areas much later in the game, when I felt strong enough to take them on. They are both rather expansive areas. I talked to Blaidd in Siofra River and then went about my merry way. This included talking to the repulsive Selvius who directs me to talk to Sorceress Sellen. I’ve already met her, and we have a little chat.
She tells me that General Radahn needs to die so I can get into Nokron, the Eternal City. Ok, I think. He’s a big baddie, anyway. He’s the gigantic troll-looking guy who is adorable. I’ll take him out!
You have to understand that for each of these steps, I have to get to the area. That’s not easy in and of itself. I made my way to Castle Radahn and there’s Blaidd! He’s BAE, yo. And there are other NPCs as well, including Alexander, the bestest pot boi. The festival, which Alexander told me about earlier, is going to happen. There’s a guy announcing it and he asks if I’m ready. Sure, I am. There’s a lift down to the beach and….
My god. I was NOT expecting what happened at all. This is a massive spoiler, but I need to talk about it. You teleport to the arena and there are several summon signs for NPC summons. Blaidd, Alexander, and more. This is a battle festival, and it’s quite the spectacle! Or it would be if I didn’t immediately get one-shot by his fucking magic great arrow upon entry. Oh. Well. Alright then. That’s a grand way to start the fight. There’s a Stake of Marika right by the waypoint to the arena, which is nice, I guess. It’s suggested you be Level 70 to fight this fight. I was Level 60.
The idea is that you go in, summon the others, then fight General Radahn. Which, in theory, is workable. In reality, his hitboxes are janky, he glides across the battlefield in a weird way, and he jerks as he attacks. He’s huge, but also surprisingly fast. And every hit from him could decimate me. Which meant it was basically a no-hit fight. Which, I’m sorry, I am not good enough to ever do.
The other thing you can do is get Rotten Breath, an incantation that costs 1 Dragon Heart. It constantly ticks away at the enemy’s health (certain enemies, of course), which is very nice. So. The cheese is to summon the NPCs, go in and blow on General Radahn once with Rotten Breath during the first half of the fight, then ride around until you get to the second phase. Then, wait until h he does his ‘meteors fall and I can’t see where’ bullshit before riding in and blowing on him with Rotten Breath once more.
Then, and this is the important part, go far, far away and read a book or something while the NPCs whittle away at his health. Glance at the screen now and again to make sure the summons are still around. If they’re not, go summon them again. Oh, and you might be thinking it’d be at least epic to watch. Well, it would be except if you can see it, he can hit you. So the best thing is to go so far away, you can only see the HP bar slowly going down.
Side Note III: Patches is one NPC you can summon. After a few seconds, he returns to his own world. Oh, Patches. Always the cheeky bugger, aren’t you?
When you see the health bar with only a sliver left, you might be tempted to rush in and get the last blow. Resist this urge because it’s been ages just to get to this point, and you do NOT want to have to do it over again. In theory, this should have been an epic fight–one for the ages. In reality, it was boring as fuck as I just waited for my minions to do my bidding off-screen.
That was a high-concept/poor-reality boss, which is a shame because of his place in the lore. One of the results of killing him is that he creates a crater elsewhere that leads you to a whole new area, Nokron, Eternal City. Which, I have to say, is the most amazing, gorgeous, awe-inspiring area of the game thus far. The areas are color-associated, and this one is purple. Purple for mystery and magic, and purple for lofty royalty.
This is running long so I’ll pick it up again tomorrow.