Let’s talk more about FromSoft games. We all know that I am a big fan and that they are my favorite games of all time. However, ever since my medical trauma, I’ve changed as to how I think about them.
Brief primer, I hated Dark Souls as I was playing it. It was so fucking hard, and it was relentless. There was something calling me to the game, but I played it all wrong because I knew nothing about it before I went in. I mean, I knew it was brutally hard, but that was it.
I started as a Pyro because I like fire. That’s the only reason. I didn’t realize until later that it’s considered the newbie-friendly class, but it was not friendly to me at all. You have to remember that I only played a handful of hardcore games before picking up Dark Souls, the Prepare to Die edition. Games like Borderlands, Torchlight, and Diablo III. jumping from those to Dark Souls is not advised.
I fucked up from the very beginning. I leveled up whatever felt right to me rather than having a concentrated build. I went the wrong way when I first got to Firelink Shrine (and I’m not relitigating the argument that it’s brilliant on the part of Miyazaki to make two of the three paths almost impossible to traverse), and I felt like I wasn’t making any progress.
When I reached the Bell Gargs, I was broken. I had accidentally punched Andre, and he was permanently aggroed. I could pay Oswald to absolve my sins, but it was a bit rich for my blood. Now, you have to understand that I was using the Battle Axe at +1 or +2. That is not enough to fight the Bell Gargs, especially when you were an utter newb like me. I was rapidly losing my will to play the game, and I didn’t know why I didn’t just stop. Nobody was making me play the game, and yet, I was too stubborn to give up.
I wasn’t too proud to summon, but I was running out of Humanity. I kept going until I got down to one Humanity. I made the decision that I would summon Solaire one final time. If I didn’t beat the Bell Gargs, then I would quit. With that, I suddenly felt light as I summoned Solaire and went into the fray one last time. You won’t be surprised to learn that we did it. I mean, I wouldn’t be banging on and on about it if I’d quit the game, would I? I was able to absolve my sin so I could use Andre again and move on.
The next big hurdle was…well, I’ll get to that in a second. The next hurdle should have been the Capra Demon. He’s in a small arena with two dogs, and you have to kill the dogs first before tackling the Capra Demon himself. There is a staircase to the left and a thin ledge you can stand on to give yourself a breather. There’s a trick where you can hug the wall next to the ledge if the Capra Demon came upstairs, and he would fall down to the main floor without hitting you every time.
Everyone hates this boss. I can understand why, but I did not have a hard time with him when I first fought him. Why? Because he is one boss who is easily demolished with a ranged option. I had Pyro and Souls Arrows at that point, so I could just stay up on the ledge and fire away at the Capra Demon. When he came up the stairs, I hugged the wall until he fell down with his attack, then continued to send fire/magic at him. Easy-peasy!
No, my big obstacle was…the Gaping Dragon. It’s not a hard boss in and of itself, but it does have a large health pool that is higher than Ornstein and Smough combined. It’s not a particularly complicated fight, but it’s tedious and grueling. Also, the boss in huge and it’s difficult to get any perspective on it. Since I have spatial issues, a huge boss in a large arena is not doing me any favors.
Still. I gritted my teeth and tried over and over. I was not going to let a stupid dragon get the best of me. I fought it over and over and over. I can’t tell you how many times I fought this beast, only to be slain several times. again, I questioned why I was still going. I don’t remember how much I had upgraded my Battle Axe by this point, but most likely not past +5, if even that.
Side Note: I am listening to We Are the Souls Reborn by ThePrud with a narration by Vaati at the end for the 3rd time in a row. It makes me cry every time, but it embodies everything we From fans love about the games. Mostly, the camaraderie and jolly cooperation that we all experience in the games. But, using the NPCs/bosses of the game to illustrate the point is brilliant.
I battled the Gaping Dragon until I had it down to a sliver. I was freaking out, but I managed to keep it down to a dull roar. I went in for the final kill and–I fell into an abyss. I screamed in frustration and threw my* controller away from me. I instantly quit the game and did not play again for another year.
When I picked up the game again, it was roughly a year later. I don’t remember why I picked it up again, but I did. I started over and made it to the Gaping Dragon. Funnily enough, I had less trouble with the Bell Gargs this time than the Capra Demon. Just goes to show.
I finally made it to the Gaping Dragon. I was much better-equipped this time around. I girded my loins and went in, and I killed it in a few tries. It really wasn’t a big deal, and once I was done, I jogged around the arena to look for the abyss that I had fallen in. I couldn’t find it and wondered if my memory was spotty. I looked again, and it was waaaaaaaay in the back of the arena. I had no idea how I had fallen into it the first time. I’ve never come close again!
You would think that would be the end of my uplifting return to Dark Souls, but no, it’s not. When I finally got to Ornstein and Smough, I hit a big stumbling block. I could not get by them no matter how hard I tried. I limited myself to fighting them an hour a day because I got frustrated if I went any longer. I was using the Furysword +2 or so and many powerful Pyros. I was still getting my ass handed to me consistently.
After a week, I was ready to give up again. I messaged Ian at 2 in the morning saying I was giving up. He encouraged me to keep trying, and I was filled with determination. I put on The Pina Colada Song by Rupert Holmes (on repeat) to keep me going, and I went in one final time. I Pyroed Ornstein in his face so I could face Super Smough, and then I did something I’d never done before. I had my Furysword in my right hand and my Lightning Spear in my left. I’d wait for Super Smough to do one of his combos, then swipe right, swipe left. lather, rinse, repeat.
I did it. I beat Super Smough, and I was filled with an elation such as I’d never felt before. I couldn’t believe I had beaten Ornstein and Smough, and I’m sure it took me more than a hundred tries.
Again, you would be forgiven for thinking that this was my triumphant moment in my Dark Souls journey. This would be when it sank in that I belonged with the big people and not worry any more about being a n00b or this game being for me.
You would be wrong, though.
You see, O&S (or Biggie & Small) as I call them, are only halfway through the game. There is so much more game, and it only gets worse after this point. Yes, you can warp to limited bonfires, but it’s still a pain in the ass to get to most of the bosses. And what’s considered the worst boss in all the FromSoft games (Bed of Chaos) is in this half.
I did finish the game (including the DLC), but I hated it by the time I was done. I checked off the ‘finished’ box and vowed never to touch it again. It had taken everything out of me, and I never wanted to see it again. Current me laughs at how naive younger me was, but the pain and drain was real at the time.
This is running long, so I’ll talk about how I went from ‘I hate this game and will never play it again’ to ‘one of my favorite games of all time’ in the next post. See you then.
*Ian’s.