Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: Ke Huy Quan

Joy is my everything

Yesterday, I had my first post on Everything Everywhere All At Once–which I finally saw on Christmas night. In the last post, I mentioned that I did not like movies in general. Plus, Amazon makes it so fucking hard to rent a movie that I pushed it off for months.

But. I made a commitment to Ian to watch it by Christmas Day. And true to my nature, I waited until that night before watching it.

I was skeptical, but hopeful. Within ten minutes, I was sobbing. You see, I went in knowing very little about the movie And, yes, there will be spoilers throughout this review. Continue at your own risk.

I knew there was universe jumping and that Michelle Yeoh was the lead. That was all I knew, and I was prepared for it to be heart-pounding and thrilling. It was that, sure. It was also funny as hell in places (and, yes, we will talk about THAT scene–probably in another post), but what I did not expect was to be sobbing ten minutes into the movie.

Not just little tears, either, but ugly sobbing. It was when Joy was getting into the car to leave with Becky (in a huff), and Evelyn calls out for her to wait. Joy stops. And I can tell by the set of her shoulders that she is bracing herself. She is hoping for something positive, but she knows in her heart that it’s most likely going to be critical.

“You need to eat better,” Evelyn snaps. “You’re getting fat.”

Joy’s shoulders sag. And I burst into tears as Joy gets into the car and drives away. Because I could see the resignation and the pain in her face. I could feel the hurt and anger she was feeling. I knew what she was experiencing, and it was devastating.

I get the feeling that the Daniels put in this as a way to say that Evelyn could not talk about her feelings and that this was her way of showing love. It’s cultural, I can hear them say. I know that. I am from that culture. I visited Taiwan when I was ten or so, and no one had any problems telling me how fat I was (my relatives).

Here’s the thing. I would not say it’s a way of showing love. It’s just not a taboo.  But. Here’s the added twist. If you’re a girl/woman/AFAB, then it’s definitely a negative. You should be able to be blown away by a slight breeze otherwise you will never get a husband.

So, the fact that a mother is saying it to her daughter (who isn’t fat, by the way. Not that it matters, but she just isn’t) makes it even crueler. Women are often the ones who ensure that the sexist beliefs of a society are passed on to their daughters.

(Restrains self with much diffuclty from giving a diatribe and internalized sexism and when doing it out of love is arguably worse than doing it out of hate.)


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