I am back for the most definitely final installment of My Official Review of Promise Mascot Agency (Kaizen Game Works). My Pinky plushy arrived today and is sitting on my desk. She is cute as hell, and very adorable in her summer gear. She is my mascot, and speaks to my twisted, dark heart. Here is my post from yesterday in which I’m gushing about the characters and how much I adore them.
I think one thing I need to make absolutely clear: I am a freak and a weirdo. I am nowhere near ‘normal’, nor can I hope to ever be. I spent my childhood and teens hating myself because I was convinced there was something wrong with me. I was an alien in an alien world, and I had no clue what to do.
In my twenties and thirties, I realized that I was very much on the fringes. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I wasn’t completely comfortable with it, either. At times, I did wish I were a normal person, but that seemed to be so far away from me. I used to say to K that it was hard to be a weirdo and that I wished I was normal. She listened to me gripe about it many times until one time I said something about getting married and having children. I was saying how much easier my life would be if I could just be fucking normal for once, got married, and had children. She said in a stern voice, “Do you want to get married and have children?” I blurted out, “Fuck no!” without even thinking about it.
She mentioned that if I didn’t want to get married and have children, it was pointless to yearn for them. And, in fact, it was counterproductive to be wistful about it when it wasn’t something I wanted in the first place. She was right, of course, but it was still hard to be such a weirdo.
I have spent fifty years studying society and trying to fit in–or at least not stick out like a sore thumb (which, by the way, is fucking hard for me. Not just because my brain is weird, but because I’m Asian, have big tits, and am just visually memorable. Not so much now that I’m old, but definitely when I was younger).
There are very few times when I immerse myself in a piece of pop culture/media that I feel like I am truly seen. It’s hard enough being an AFAB, Asian American, queer person in the nineties/aughts, but each individual piece has gotten more visible over the years*. However, now that I have thrown in being agender and doing weapon forms in Taiji, it’s nearly impossible to find anyone like me. Oh, and let’s mention neurodivesity as well. I am pretty sure I’m on the spectrum and maybe have ADHD.
Throw all of that into a pot, stir it, and let it simmer overnight. You get one hot mess called me, and I’m not palatable to many people. Or rather, my smoothed-out-edges version of me is tolerable, but nobody wants to see the full me. Or even the half me. Quarter me? Probably not.
That’s one reason I really vibed with this game. These are my people (collequially), and I feel like I could hang with them without being judged. There is some tough love from Pinky (“Stop sniveling and accept you’re great!” is the kind of bracing supportive comment she makes), and I love her for it.
This game is not all about vibes, but vibes are a big reason why I love the game. It is so big-hearted and strangely wholesome for all it’s dirtiness and grit. Normally, I am not a happy ending kind of person, but I feel this game has earned it. And, sometimes, I just want the good guys to win.
Why did I feel that way in this game? It’s because I fell in love with the characters who were themselves on the very fringe of society. Not because they were mascots, but because they were different/broken in one or several ways.
I really want another game with these characters. Even if it’s just a hanging out with them game. In fact, I would prefer it to be a game in which I don’t have to do all the management stuff. I liked most of it, but really, I just wanted to chill with the mascots and the NPCs.
There are very few games that make me feel protective of the characters; this is one of them. I would have done anything for any of the characters, full stop. The more time I spend away from them, the more I miss them. And the more I think characters in most other games are so underbaked compared to them. Which is wild because it’s not as if they’re given extensive backstories or intricate quests.
It’s just who they are, and that makes them very near and dear to my heart. This was a 32-hour experience (to plat it, could have been done in about 20 for the story alone) that was just so joyful. Yes, I had issues with some of the mechanics, and, yes, my disabilities got in the way sometimes and frustrated me while playing, but I loved every second I spent with the characters. I wanted more of them, and I simply could not get enough. I know I have gone on and on about the characters, but they really touched something inside of me that I did not know could be touched.
I resigned myself in my thirties or so to being a freak who would always be on the fringes. The pandemic intensified that feeling, and then my medical crisis made it even worse. I don’t know how to talk about it to the normies, so mostly, I just tuck it in the back of my mind and don’t mention it.
Come to think about it, that’s how I am with almost everything in my life. I try to gauge how much is too much and cut myself off way before that point. I just assume people don’t really want to hear what I think/feel.
There are very few people in real life whom I feel I can be vulnerable with. And I rarely find anyone in media that I think, “Oh, they’re like me.” Or even, “Oh, I could be friends with them.” I felt that immediate connection with the characters in Night in the Woods (Infinite Fall), and I felt it here as well.
I probably won’t return to this game because it’s a one-and-done kind of game, but I might just so I can spend some more time with the characters. Even if I don’t, I will always cherish the time that I spent with them. I give this game an 8.5, and it’s my game of the year so far.
*I am not going to get into the current state of affairs in the United States because that is not what iths post is about.