I’m back to muse more about neurodivergency, societal norms, being a weirdo, and how this is all connected. Here’s my post from yesterday about how I just think differently than other people in many things. I ended it with the example of my feelings about two video games, The Surge and Nioh.
To sum up, Nioh is widely considered one of the best soulslikes out there. It’s exalted for its endless systems and the way they level up the weapons. So many people hold it in high esteem. I tried to play it when it came out, and I made it about a third of the way through before finally declaring defeat. No fun was I having, and I just could not do it any longer. (I also tried Nioh 2 right before my medical crisis in which, I kid you not, I died to the second boss 99 times. Nioh 2 keeps track of how many times you die to a boss.)
The same year the first Nioh came out (2017), so did another soulslike called The Surge. It was so janky, it was soon fondly known as Junkyard Souls. The novel thing about this game was that the enemies were some kind of robots (sautered mechanical bits to them), and you could attack their limbs rather than just kill them. If you managed to sever a limb, you got the armor or weapon that came with it.
And, one of the best things about the game was that the category your weapon was in leveled up as you used that weapon. That meant that your weapon leveled up with you. The downside to that was if you wanted to switch weapon categories, of course.
That’s just the backstory. I was in the public chat for a content creator I watch. Yes, it’s FromSoft-related. Some of the guys (and, yes, they were all guys) were gushing about how great Nioh was and how it was the best soulslike by far. Now, there has been some discussion about whether Nioh really was a soulslike or not, but let’s just take it as a given that it was a soulslike for this discussion.
I commented that I had more fun with The Surge than I did Nioh. I very rarely say that one thing is better than the other because I don’t feel I can objectively judge that. I usuall say I preferred one to the other or some variant thereof.
Why? I’m well-aware that I’m a freak and that my opinion is rarely in line with the majority. And, I can differrentiate my opinion from facts much of the time. I used to watch a content creator who could not fathom that something he did not like might be good because as he said, “If it was good, I would like it.” He would show this cirrcular reasoning without an ounce of self-awareness.
I, on the other hand, am very aware than some of what I ilke is trash and that some of the things i don’t like is art. Gamewise, a recent example is Clair Obscur: Expedition 33. I can acknowledege that it’s a good game that touched many people while simultaneously saying it wasn’t for me (and the story was hot garbage).
I think because I am painfully aware that my opinion is usually in the minority (and often in the tiny minority of the minority), I am always careful about how I word things. It doesn’t always stop the pushback, but when I emphasize that it’s just my opinion or what I like rather than ‘better than’, well, there’s a lot of incoherent sputtering.
I will admit I take some glee from upsetting these men, but that’s not the main purpose. It’s just nice little cherry on top of the sexist cake. It’s not always men, obviously, but much of the time, it is. Cishet men, especially cishet white men are taught that they are the norm against which everything else is measured/judged. Even those who are not as self-absorbed as the so many are, they think the way they think is normal.
I’m old. I’m tired. I do not have the patience to teach cishetwhitemen about sexism, especially Sexism 101. I just cannot. It’s 20-fucking-26. If they can’t even do the basic research necessary to be neutral in the battle against sexism–such a very low bar!–then I don’t have time for them.
Again, this ties into how I view people. I do see gender, race, creed, etc. It would be a folly to say I don’t. However, I see it as a part of the whole, and I’m not attracted to any one part exclusively. When I was in my early twenties, I realized I was attracted to women as well as men*. I was bi, and that was a revelation. I also reallized I was more attracted to personalities than physical appearance. Or rather, I split the two into two different categories.
There are people I’m physically attracted to and want to bonk. Repeatedlyy. There are people I’m emotionally attracted to and want to bonk. Repeatedly. Rarely, the two categories are combined–and I want to bonk them as well.
How does this tie in with hierarchy? It all falls under the umbrella of I don’t categorize people in the same way that society does. I understand how society views hierarchy; I just don’t agree with it. Or rather, it doesn’t mesh with how I feel about it. I don’t think people should be afforded more or less respect based on their titles. For example, I respect the office of the President of the United States. I don’t necessarily respect some individuals who have occuppied this office. And I do mean occupied in one specific case.
I saw President Carter speak at my college when I was a junior or senior. I loved hearing him speak (he was a warm and gracious man), but I was not starstruck or anything like that. I just don’t get why I should have a more or less intense reaction to someone because of theirr title/position.
That’s all for now. I’ll be back tomorrow.
*Yes, it was the binary at the time. That has expanded and grown over the years.