I am perfect the way I am. No, that’ is not true. I am joking, obviously. I have as many flaws as my arm is long, but I have realized the older I get that there is only so much I can do about it. Back in the day, I would set goals and/or resolutions and then fail miserably at them. It’s beacuse I am an all-or-nothing kind of person. I don’t know moderation, which is one of my flaws. Ironic, really.
I used to do the ‘lose fifty pounds in a month’ thing–which is ridiculous. Trying to lose weight in general is futile. There is a stat that has been bandied about that 97% of people who lose weight gain it back–and more. There was a letter to How To Do It (Slate’s sexxxxxytimes advice column) in which the letter writer told his wife (they had kids) that he was no longer attracted to her because she gained thirty pounds in the last two years–and her health, though. To be more precise, she gained 31 pounds. Yes, he knew precisely how much it was.
She agreed to lose the weight, which meant she made two dinners every day (one for her and one ofr her husband and the kids) and went to the gym to work out. Her hubby complained that it meant more work for him at home, but he was very ‘patient’ about it. Imagine heavily-laid sarcasm infused into the word ‘patient’.
She got down to a weight that he deemed acceptable, but then she wrapped herself in huge clothing, complaining about being too cold and too tired for sex. She had it, but she wasn’t as adventurous as she was before. She wouldn’t derss in the hot clothes he wanted her to and he was at a loss as to what to do. She also didn’t want to have sex with the lights on. He noticed other men eyeing her up and down, but she seemed oblivious to the stares.
Rich took him to task for being the sexist pig that he was an utterly repugnant. The commentariat was nearly unanimous in condemning him (which, frankly surprised me as they were pretty fatphobic), but more than one person commented that gaining thirty pounds in two years (gee, what happened in the last two years that might have made it easier to gain weight?) was a bad thing.
First of all, no.
See how easy that was? Look, I know that this country worships at the altar of painful skinniness, but there is not any sustained research that says being fat in and of itself is a bad thing. In fact, I have read more research saying being underweight is worse for you than being overweight, but you never, ever hear anyone say they’re concerned about a too-thin person ‘for their health’.
In addition, several people had antiquated ideas of what is a normal weight for a person, especially a woman. I’m 5’6″. When I was at my skinniest–fainting on the dance floor with a 27″ waist–I weighed 138 pounds on my homescale (which meant probably five more pounds on the doctor’s scale).That was JUST under overweight on the BMI scale. I have very dense muscles and look like I weigh tthirty pounds less than I do.
More to the point, people who say that they’re worried about someone’s health is lying. You cannot tell how healthy someone is by looking at them. Or what they eat. In general, yes, you’ll probably be in better shape if you eat plenty of veggies and fruit. But it varies with each person and it’s not as you’re innoculated from anything bad happen if you eat ten fruits and veggies a day.
Anyway. I have stopped setting weight-related goals because that way lies madness. I would not mind losing a few pounds, but I do not know how to do it without sliding into disordered thinking. It would be better if I just ate more healthily and did more movement, but that probably isn’t going to happen, either.
I want to start adding steps to my day. Yes, I do an hour or so of Taiji every day, but that’s not enough. My stamina is shit. I should walk five minutes every hour I’m awake, and that would be nearly painless way to up my aerobic exercise.
The thing I need to do is set reasonable goals. Losing fifty pounds in a year is not reasonable. Walking five minutes every hour–could be, but probably not to start with when I’m as sedentary as I am. Writing my book/memoir this year is doable. Maknig sure it’s a bestseller inn’t. Or rather, dreaming that it’s a bestseller isn’t.
Keeping my cat fed is going to be hard, but hopefully reasonable. Today, he’s decided that none of the food he would normally eat was appealing to him. It’s really frustrating beacuse he will literally stop eating something he had been gulping down and refuse to touch it again.
I’m just trying to make sure he has enough calories in him to get through the day.I have to remind myself that even on his worst days, he’s eating more than he did back before he was sick. i really think his sniffer is wonky because food that he used to love, he ignores now. If he actually tastes it, half the time he’ll eat it and half the time he won’t. I try to be patient, but why the hell won’t he just eat?
I may just start buying meat. Human meat, I mean. Er, meat that humans eat–not the meat of humans if he refuses to eat at all. But I’ve gotten him fish, and he’s eaten some of it. Not all, though, which, again, frustrating. I may have to bust out the big guns–which is roast beef. That is his favorite at least when he was sick. That was the one he ate the quickest, which…does that make sense? Not really. It’s not like a cat can catch a cow. But, again, whatever he’ll eat, I’ll feed to him.
I’m feeling sluggish today and unmotivated, so I’ll end it here. I’ll pick it up tomorrow.