In the last several posts, I have been musing about health. In general, yes, but also more specific aspects of it. I want to do better with my health, and I have been thinking of ways to do so without going overboard. In the last post, I was talking about how I would be OK with being called a woman if there wasn’t so much damn sexism that came with it. It’s everywhere, and while I don’t think I can escape it simply by quitting out of the gender assigned to me, I don’t want to engage with it, either.
I’m not going to get into anyone’s face about it because it’s not a hill I want to die on, but it’s just tiring to have to think about it at all. In an Ask A Manager thread I was reading, someone mentioned that it took longer for women to get ready because they had to do their makeup and dressing was more elaborate/difficult for men than women. I am not disputing that in general, but I didn’t relate to it, either. I haven’t worn makeup on a regular basis since I was in my twenties, and even then it was even more because I thought I was supposed to than anything else.
I didn’t even try makeup until I was in my late teens. I hated it because I was allergic to everything and makeup was made of really bad shit at the time. This was nearly forty years ago. I would get rashes from it, and it would itch and make me want to take it off. when I gave it up, it was such a relief. I will fully admit that I was terrible at putting it on, too. Whatever girl gene (and yes that’s fully ironic) there was for putting on makeup, I did not get it at all. I looked like someone had punched me in the face whenever I tried to wear makeup, which is not a good look. Or it could just be me being self-conscious because it felt so fake.
I will say that now, knowing that my motor skills are not great, it makes a lot of sense that I had a hard time putting on makeup. You need a steady hand for that, which I did not have. I was always in fear of poking myself in the eye when putting on mascara, and I never could do it evenly.
I have read/heard so many women talk about why they feel a need to wear it, and I cannot relate to any of them. I can get them on a cognitive level, but not on a visceral one. Besides the sensation issue, I just don’t get why it would be a positive to wear makeup. Again, I’m not talking about in a social sense because I get why someone would do it for that reason, but on a personal level.
This is one of the reasosn I eschewed the ‘woman’ label. Along with wearing a bra. Which, much to my surprise, some women have very strong feelings about it being WRONG for a woman to go out in public without one. This was on a work blog, and the question was about can an AFAB person be considered professional at work if they didn’t wear a bra. They made sure to clarify that they were covering their nipples so the nipples were not poking through their shirt and they were double-covering (with blazers and such). They had taken the bra off for the pandemic (if I remember correctly) and did not want to put it back on again.
Naively, I thought that there would be a robust discussion, but that people would be ‘live and let live’ about it. These were progressive (mostly) women who declared themselves to be feminists. Yes, they may wear bras themselves, but they would probably support someone who didn’t want to wear one. Right?
Oh, I was so very wrong. Again. This is one of my issues. For all my studying of society, I still don’t have a firm grasp on what the normies think is outre or not. I truly didn’t think the question of bra or not would be such a hot topic. I mean, if someone’s titties are properly covered, who cares if there’s a bit of jiggle?
I have not worn a bra since the pandemic started, and I have no intention of ever wearing one again. Of course, now that it’s winter, I’m mostly wearing t-shirts and sweatshirts, so there’s no question of my headlights shining. However, in the summer, I wear a t-shirt without a bra on. Or a nice shirt without a bra on if I’m going somewhere. Yes, I mostly wear black, but even so, you can tell I have nipples.
At this late date, I will note that I have sensory issues that make it painful for me to wear a bra. That’s not the only reason I don’t like wearing one, but it’s significant. On this thread in the AAM forum, people were saying it was not a hill to die on. I said it was absolutely a hill I would die on. Someone snapped at me that it was a privileged thing to be able to quit because of this.
Side note: I hate that ‘check your privilege’ has come to mean shut up if you have any privilege. That’s not the point of checking your privilege. I think I said that yes, it’s coming from a place of privilege, but that’s the whole point of privilege–to use it for good and for others who couldn’t. Someone eles made that point before me, and I was glad because it caught me so off-guard.
Side note II: I also hate that giving a suggesting that not everyone can follow is considered verboten. If it’s offered as an option and not the option, then why shouldn’t it be suggested?
The vehemence that some women held towards other women and AFAB people who did not wear bras was puzzling to me. Until I remembered how angry some women got at me for not having/wanting children. I have another post in me about it, but not right now. Will tackle it tomorrow. Probably.