In the last post, I was musing about what my ideal world would look like. Of course, it’s difficult to say because I can’t account for every issue that we would come up against, but I did mention a few of the bigger ones. Racism, sexism, queerphobia, classism, and ableism. Of course, there are more than just those (religious intolerance and ageism spring to mind), which proves my point that you really can’t fix everything. In fact, even if all these issues were to suddenly disappear, others would spring up in their place. Why? Because human beings love to categorize and to belong to a team. In order to be part of a team, you have to have someone(s) who are not on the team.
Here’s the thing. It’s fine and dandy to say that in my diversity town (instead of my ideal world) it would be cishet white dudes who would go through the experience in order to learn. The problem is that assumes that if someone is a minority in one area, then they would be sympathetic to other minorities.
This is most emphatically not true.
You would think I would have known this ages ago, but I foolishly assumed the best of people back when I was in my twenties and thirties. In fact, when I was in college, I had a friend who was adamant that I was an optimist. I was so offended because I was a cynical pessimist, damn it. He listened to me rant for a good five minutes before calmly saying, “You expect people to do the right thing and then are disappointed when they don’t. That makes you an optimist.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but then I closed it again. He was right. I did expect people to do/say the right thing. I was disappointed when that didn’t pan out. In other words, I was an optimist. Damn it. I was cynical because I kept getting my expectations dashed.
Side note: The reason I started thinking about all this is because I was getting frustrated in the RKG Discord when a few people would not acknowledge that Sekiro was not for everyone. Though no one would be so mean as to say ‘git gud’, it pretty much is that sentiment.
It’s fascinating as well as frustrating to see people (let’s face it. Mostly cishet white dudes) not be able to see that they are not the norm. And, to be fair, in this case, the Discord was built around From games (loosely), so many of the people who are in the Discord are From fans. I am, too, but I am not good at them. And I am one of the few people who can recognize that.
Side note: It’s the same with driving. I am a shitty driver. I always have been, and it’s only gotten worse since my medical crisis. I don’t know anyone else who will admit that they are a bad driver.
Anyway. I’m bad at From games. Or, as I like to say, I’m good at the games if we’re talking about the gen pop, but firmly mediocre if we’re talking about From fans. Sometimes, I wished I didn’t love them because they have given me so much heartache.
The DLC is coming out in a few weeks, and I am so hyped. But I’m also worried because the DLC is always a massive leap up in terms of difficulty than the base game. Most hardcore From fans eat this shit up with a spoon. Which, ew.
Not me. Idon’t play the games for the difficulty. I accept that it’s part of the experience, but I have never rubbed my hands in glee at the thought of fighting Ornstein and Smough a hundred times.
Anyway. Back to my ideal world.
Because of my hidden issues with things like reflexes and spatial, well, issues. Or issues with my depth perception, I have to try twice as hard to beat the games–and I will never ever ever be able to do a no-death run (let alone a no-hit run). This is not me being down on myself or not believing in myself enough; this is hard facts.
Side note: I have a big problem with the American messaging that anyone can do anything. Even as a very little kid, I knew this was bullshit. I knew I was never going to be president because I was AFAB and Taiwanese. I could not even see someone on TV who looked like me unless it was an extra on M*A*S*H.
I wanted to be an actor when I was a kid, by the way, but the lack of representation on TV or in the movies made me think that I wasn’t allowed to be an actor. No one had to forbid me from doing it, by the way. Just the lack of anyone else doing it solidified that unspoken norm.
In my ideal world, I would have representation of everyone in the media–proportionally. And since I am not letting white straight dudes in my town, well, they would not have any representation. Or very little. And then get to hear them complain about it when they come to my town.
Here’s the problem, though. The cis white dudes who came to my diversity town voluntarily won’t be the ones who need it the most. But the ones who are ordered there by their jobs or something like that would be too resistant to learn anything, anyway.
Although, being made to stay there a month may make them learn things against their own will. It’s hard not to absorb the norms around you if you can’t escape them. Believe me, I know this from experience.
What I was saying earlier was that intersectionality needs to be a thing. It’s so frustrating to be around people who are very aware of one kind of ism, but is ignorant to or doesn’t care about another. Or even worse, is hostile about other minorities getting any kind of compassion.
I don’t know if it’s because I’m such a weirdo and so far out of the norm in so many ways, but I am much more empathetic to other minorities. I feel that I don’t always get the same consideration in return. In fact, because I belong to several minorities that are never talked about, I teeter towards bitterness and resentment.
I’m done for now. More tomorrow.