There are certain words and symbols that have morphed in ways I just cannot support. Or rather, I have a very different reaction to them based on their new meaning. One example is the American flag. After 9/11, it became a symbol of intolerance and hatred for me. People were putting up the American flag outside their homes and it felt dangerous not to do so. There was so much rhetoric about ‘Murika at that time, it angered me. I am already not a patriotic person because I don’t see any reason to think my country is better than any other simply because I was born here. And the way W. acted following 9/11 was an embarrassment. We had the goodwill of the world and he squandered it. I know it’s easy to forget given the horror of the last president, but W. was terrible in his own way.
I grew to hate the American flag because it symbolized jingoism, groupthink, and nationalism–none of which I approve. To me, it meant ‘shut up and do as you’re told’, which is against my nature. I am a self-admitted contrarian, which is not a good thing. It’s not completely a bad thing, either, but I’m just noting it is a thing with me. I am always going to see the other side, but not in a devil’s advocate way. Sometimes, conventional wisdom is correct, but often, it should at least be questioned.
My other big bugaboo is the word forgiveness. I instinctively wince when I hear it/read it because it’s become so toxic to me. Honestly, I’ve never been a big fan of it, not even when I was a purported Christian*. I can understand in theory the idea behind it, but I don’t approve of the current use–which is deeply rooted in Christianity.
How I view forgiveness: the person who is being wronged is pushed to pretend it never happened and not every bring it up again. The perp is not punished in any way and is allowed to continue on as they were before. They should not be made to feel one iota of discomfort. Indeed, the victim is the one who must bear all the pain, not just the brunt.
If the perp says they’re sorry, then the vic must accept it. Hell, the perp doesn’t even have to say they’re sorry before people pressure the vic to ‘move on’. Is this unfair? Maybe, but it’s how it’s played out day after day.
Side Note: I gave up on gun control after Sandy Hook. If people couldn’t be assed to do anything after 20 kids were killed in the most brutal way possible, the group that is purported to be held in the highest esteem, then nothing is ever going to change. Prayers and tears are all that are ever going to be offered, even though most Americans, even NRA members, want better gun control bills. The Onion has a brilliant and brutal response to the latest mass shooting: all their news briefs are the bit they run every time there’s a shooting from many different incidents. I remember reading it after the Colorado shooting and thinking it was perfection itself and they do it every time there’s a shooting now. Printing several of them, one after the other, is brilliant.