I need to tackle my brain issues in 2026. I have recently realized that I’m neuroatypical, though I’m not exactly sure of the particular flavor (probably autistic and maybe ADHD, too). One issue I have is that it’s really difficult for me to do something if my brain is against it. One lifelong example that is currently flaring up again is my sleep issues. Or rather, my going to bed at a normal human being time issues.
I have always been a night owl. From a very young age, I would stuff a t-shirt under the door when I was supposed to be in bed so I could read for hours more. I taught myself to read when I was three or four, nad I haven’t stopped reading since. I would read into the wee hours of the night using a flashlight, and I never fell asleep until well past the point when I was put to bed.
When I was in college, I had a 7:45 a.m. class on Tuesdays and Thursdays one semester. I would go to bed around 3:30 a.m. and then get up at 7 a.m. for that class. I was so sleep deprived, I once wokke up and could not find my portable alarm clock. It was a cute and lavendar,, and I kept it on the side table by my bed.
One day, I slapped the table and the alarm clock wasn’t there. I looked all around my dorm room for it, but could not find it. I gave up after ten minutes or so,, then opened my mini-fridge to grab a Diet Pepsi. There was my alarm clock, and I had no menory of putting it there. My brain was so sleep-deprived,, it simply did not retain that information.
I slept roughly five hours a night until I started Taiji. Then, slowly, but surely, I eked my way up to six-and-a-half hours per night, waking up twice and having difficulty falling back asleep each time.
This was my life until I had my medical crisis. I slept almost all the time in the hospital, which was not surprising, obviously. I would guess I slept at least fourteen hours a day, heavily added with some seriously impressive sedatives.
When I got home, I went to bed by ten at night and got up at six. Eight solid hours of sleep a night, which was unheard of for me. Not to mention going to bed by ten. At night! It was great to get that much sleep; truth to be told, though, it was really weird. I wasn’t looking a gift horse in the mouth, though. I had never felt that rested in my life.