Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: bonus days

The end of another year

I cannot believe it’s nearly the end of another year. 2022 is nearly in the bag and it’s really whizzed by. Especially the last few months. Ian came to visit a year after my medical crisis. Kathleen came at the beginning of November. Both of those events were in a blink of the eye and the last quarter of the year seemed like one day. Now, we’re sitting on the day after Christmas and we’re less than a week from the new year.

2023.

How is that even possible? It’s been over a year since my medical crisis and I still don’t quite know what to do with it. When I talke about it, I pretty much say that it was a medical emergency or crisis from which I was not expected to recover. I leave it at that because I don’t want to bring down the conversation or make people feel sorry for me. I also don’t want it to sound like a humblebrag, which I know it does. “Oh, it was no big thing. I just had two cardiac arrests and a stroke, but I didn’t have to do any PT or rehab for them.” Unspoken is the “It ain’t no big thang.”

I know I was lucky. I am grateful that I escaped the negative ramifications of my medical crisis that most people usually go through. I scoured the internet to find a therapy group for people who survived cardiac arrests. I did not finy one. Why? Because most people who have cardiac arrests die. 90%. This is something that got impressed upon me while I was in the hospital. I shouldhave died. Or rather, I should have stayed dead. I died twice! My heart doctor said that to me.

I should be dead. This isn’t something I think about all the time, but it’s definitely in the back of my mind. I should not be alive. How does one really process that? In the RKG Discord, I was talking about almost dying and someone said he had almost died and it hadn’t changed the way he lived. In other words, he was still deperssed and anxious. I should have said that I actuallydied–not just that what happened to me was life-threatening. And I’m not trying to tell anyone else how they should feel about their near-death experiences.

All I can do is talk about my own. I literally died twice. I was without oxygen for a period of time. We don’t know how long, but it was enough that the police bagged me (with oxygen) when they came to my house.

So. Ok. I died twice in September of 2021. I spent the rest of that year recovering. No PT or rehab because I was fine in that sense. My motor skills were OK and once the blurriness of my eyesight disappeared, I could get back on the internet with no problem. I could type as fast as I used to (which is roughhly 100 wpm). The thing, though, was that I had no stamina. That was what affected me the most. It took me two months to get my stamina back. Saying that, I realize that I was incredibly lucky in that sense, too. Two months to be back to 100%? That is insanely lucky.


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Birthday greens

Yesterday, I maundered about my birthday and why I never liked it in the past. As is my wont, I rushed near the end because I was tired of writing and because it was getting too wordy. I talked about how I had gotten to the point of neutral about my birthday during the pandemic. Neutral to slightly warm. I got myself a nice little treat, gritted my teeth as I talked to my parents, and that was about that.

I didn’t hate my birthday as I had in the past, but I didn’t much care about it, either. I would tell anyone who asked when my birthday was, but I didn’t proffer the date on my own. This year, however, everything changed. I wasn’t expected to live to this birthday, so it feels extra-special. I call these my bonus days and I’m glad that I’m still alive to enjoy them.

This is new territory for me. I was suicidal for decades, both actively and passively. It wasn’t until the last five years or so that I didn’t want to die. Or at least, that I didn’t NOT want to be alive. I wasn’t glad to be alive, but I didn’t want to die, either.

When I woke up from my coma, I was angry, scared, and ready to fight whomever needed fighting. I didn’t know who that was, but I was sure it was somebody. It was an abrupt return to life, and I was not happy about it. At first. Then, when I was able to process what happened to me, I became profoundly grateful to be alive. It might have been the powerful narcotics and sedatives coursing through my veins, but I was thankful in every bone of my body to be alive.

I was verbally effusive to everyone I ran into. I thanked them for taking such good care of me and for bringing me ice water. This was an ongoing thing, by the way. The hospital was really hot. I prefer to be cold. I asked every nurse to bring me a glass of ice water. it didn’t matter how many I already had; I always wanted more.

Side Note: A nurse I know on Twitter told me I was not just imagining things. There is a special brand of ice machine that every hospital has. Her colleagues go in on their days off with a cooler in order to stock up on ice.


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The last year of my life

As 2021 comes to a close, I can’t stop thinking again about how I should not be alive. I died–twice–and came back to life–twice! So much happened to me that I can’t remember and perhaps my favorite exchange of the year is one that was told to me in retrospect. It  was when I saw my heart doc for the second time outside the hospital. He mentioned again that I had cracked him up when we talked in the hospital. I had no memory of that and asked him about it. To back up a second, the first time we met outside the hospital, I told him I was pleased to meet him. He laughed and said he had met me in the hospital after I woke up. I apologized immediately for anything I might have said to offended him. He laughed and said I had cracked him up. I was intrigued, but I let it go because I was too drugged up at that point to go further into it.

The second time I saw him, which was a week ago, he mentioned it again. I was intrigued and more  in control of my brain, so I asked him about it. Actually, we were talking about how quickly and unexpectedly I had woken up. He had been gone for a day or so while I was under. The prognosis was dire. When he came back, I was awake and talking. He said that when he went in to talk to me, he did what he always did. He recapped what happened to me because he found that to be helpful when he talked to his patients–reiterating what they had experienced every time he talked to them because of memory issues.

He was saying, “So you had pneumonia which led to two cardiac arrests and a stroke.” I listened to his renumeration before saying, “So I died?” He said yes. Apparently, I looked at him and then said, “That’s so fucking cool!” That’s what cracked him up and I laughed when he retold it because it sounded exactly like me.

One thing that has pleased me during this whole ordeal is that I’ve kept my sense of humor. My brother joked that maybe the brain damage made me funnier, which made me laugh when I read it in the Caring Bridge. I never lost my sense of humor during my ordeal because that’s how I deal with bad situations. I tend to see the dark side of things and I put an even darker spin on things, but in a funny way. The fact that I died was not something to shy away from, but to embrace and explore. I mean, I was fucking alive–that was all that  mattered, right?


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