I have more to say about safe spaces. In part four of this series, I was talking about how creepers are endlessly excused as just being socially awkward–if they are a white cishetguy. That’s not what I want to talk about today, though. I want to focus more on what a safe space would actually look like. Not in the context of being free of creepers, but more in general of forums/groups being more welcoming of people from diverse (read, minority) backgrounds.
Side note: There is a difference between being against something and being pro something else. What I mean is it’s one thing to say that you are against sexism, for example, but a different thing to say you’re pro-feminism. The first is good, of course, but the second is better.
It’s hard to describe the difference, but I’ll try.
Most people are not going to say they are pro-treating people differently based on race, gender, sexual identity–well, on the last one, I’m less sure about that, but we’ll let it slide for now. Even people who are explicitly sexist, racist, homophobic, etc., will rationalize why they’re saying what they said. It’s not because they’re racist, but because Asian people really are sly, for example. And it’s really hard to deconstruct statements like that without giving a twenty-minute lecture about history, stereotypes, biases, and so forth.
I’ve seen spaces claim that they are against racism, sexism, homophobia, etc., but then don’t actually do anything about it when casual isms are tossed around in the chats. (I’m talking about online spaces for now.) It’s not enough to claim you’re against isms. I mean, that’s the absolute base level for the rules of engagement.
The problem is that you can’t just state it without actually enforcing it. And you can’t enforce it if you don’t have actual rules past the statement above. That’s one of the problems I see with communities that aren’t focused on minorities. They mean well (truly), and their hearts are in the right place (I mean it!), but they don’t really put much thought into what it means to be inclusive.
Side note to the side note: This is what I meant by being for something versus being against something. Saying you’re anti-isms is great, but it’s the first step. Unfortunately, so many groups treat it as the last or only step. They post signs or tags in chat that they are against isms.
In 2026, that should go without saying. I mean, granted, we have a president who is about as close to being openly pro-racism, pro-sexism, and pro-queerphobic as one can be without actually saying the literal words. And we have so many anti-LGBTQ+ folks being passed, especially ones against queer folks.
Now I’m actually depressing myself once again by thinking about the state of the (ha) United States of America. It just still astounds me that minorities are losing their civil rights left and, er, right these days. I have mourned that I had more rights when I was in my twenties than my niblings do now.