I got my lab results yesterday. My heart doc was so pleased to tell me the news, he sent it twice! More likely, his office sent it twice. Either way, it tickled me. All my labs are normal or within acceptable limits. That is good news! It’s not unexpected, though, as my doc said my heart looked just fine and emphasized it wasn’t the problem. It was the pneumonia, as difficult as that is still to believe. When I talked to the doctor outside of the hospital (one week later, still high as balls), he said he wanted to put me on potassium and then have me get my labs done a week or two later. Okey-dokey, I agreed, though I had no clue why. Again, I sounded rational and lucid, but I most emphatically was not. I did remember he said he wanted me to get my labs done because of the potassium, but I could not tell you why I was taking the potassium. It was either to lower my blood pressure or raise it. One or the other!
That was me the first few weeks home. I could tell you what people said to me, but it didn’t necessarily mean I understood it or would remember. One of the biggest hits I took from what happened to me was that my short-term memory was exceedingly unreliable. The funniest (to me, not to my mother) example is when I was being discharged. The nurse explained to me in detail what I was supposed to do. She showed me my meds and how much I was supposed to take. I nodded sagely and repeated what she told me–and promptly forgot what she had just said. When my mother and brother arrived to take me home, my mother asked about discharge papers. I pointed to the bag where the nurse said she had put them–they were not there. That was all I had! We did eventually get the papers, but not while I was in the hospital. It wasn’t until much later that it occurred to me to question why the hell she was telling me this shit and not the person who came to fetch me?
My best guess is that it’s because I seemed lucid and they were really in a rush to turn over the room. Remember, we’re still in the middle of a pandemic. Yes, I know that many Americans prefer to pretend this isn’t true, but it is. I briefly spoke to a PA (physician’s aide, I think?) about this and how he hadn’t really gotten any sleep in the last year. When we were talking about it, he spoke pretty freely until we reached the part about not having enough room. He said, “Especially…” and then hesitated. I said delicately, “Especially with the attitude of some people?” He looked relieved as he nodded in agreement. I thanked him for his service, but it seemed like so little. Before I ended up in the hospital, I had heard about how we were taxing our medical personnel. I could see it and it made sense with all that was going on. But, it’s really hard to get the scope of it from the outside.