One of the weird things about my brain is that I never can just let things be. By things, I mean ideas. Part of it is because I’m heavily influenced by others (though I try not to be), but most of it is because my brain is constantly churning. In addition, I know that I don’t know everything, so there is always more for me to learn.
In this case, my learning is about–well, let’s get there the long way, per usual. My brain connects thins that most people wouldn’t think are connected. Or rather, everything is connected in my brain. It used to frustrate me when teachers wanted to talk about one thing, but not another. Such as feminism (in a feminism class), but not racism because ‘we don’t have time for that’. Which, on the one hand, I get. On the other hand, though, fuck that shit.
I realized in my early twenties that I contained multitudes. We all do, but I am talking about me specifically right now. I was Asian, bisexual, a woman (then), agnostic (then), and just Weird with a capital W. Now, I’m still Asian, bisexual but not liking that label, agender, areligious, and still fucking weird. I’m also aromantic and ethically nonmonogamous. I don’t want a long-term relationship, and I’m more interested in sex than dating at the moment.
I see all these things as connected. I was feeling interconnectivity before it was a thing. In yesterday’s post, I outlined a series I wanted to do called, In My Ideal World, in which I would take a topic and explain what I would would like to see related to that issue. I am verbose, which means I’d spend several posts on each topic. The thing that bogs me down, though, is that I don’t know how to talke about one without bringing up another.
Let me group it like this. Gender identity is linked to sexual identity loosley. Sexual identity is linked to monogamy/nonmonogamy and being aromantic. Gender is related to race. Religion is related to nothing in particular, but it’s something I could write ten-thousand words on. I have some deep wounds because of religion, and it’s taken me a long time to heal from it. I’m not completely there, but I am so much better now than I was when I first left Christianity (early twenties).
I want to find a hook that will bring them all together, but I’m not quite there. I don’t have a problem writing several disparate posts, but I would like to find a throughline.