My empathy has run completely out.
Back story: all my life, I have been made to feel I’m lesser than. I’m in so many categories that just get overlooked or ignored, especially in a binary world. I’m Asian (not black or white); bisexual (not gay or straight); areligious (not Christian, any other religion, or an atheist); Gen X (not Boomer or Millennial); and now, agender/genderqueer (not male, female, or nonbinary).
Some of the categories cause others to view me as deficient, such as not having children. I don’t like to say childless or childfree because both of those still focus on the status (in this case a lack thereof) of having children.
I’ve been told implicitly or explicitly that my issues don’t matter as much and that I need to focus on other people. I did not mind taking people’s such as for Christmas so they could celebrate with their families (I don’t celebrate Christmas), but I did not like people feeling entitled to me covering their shifts. Nor did I get any reciprocity.
That’s my big issues. I have been told all my life I have to support this minority and that without anyone returning the favor. Being bi has gotten me shit from both straights and gays. Being Asian and Gen X gets me ignored. I don’t mind as much with agender and areligious beacuse I don’t even understand exactly what I mean by them. They’re more placeholders thaan actual labels.
Still.
I read an article about how the Somali immigrants are suffering locally (for many reasons. I don’t want to get into them right now, but suffice it to say that xenophobia is high on the list of reasons why). In fact, they are the first target for ICE with Latinos in second place (as far as I can tell).
The article I was reading focused on one woman who had owned her own small business, but has lately had to pick up gigging to make ends meet. People are not going out right now, what with ICE doing their ICE-iest best (or worst) to fuck up my state. Small business is down 60%. Anyiway, this woman said that when she heard Trump say he was going to be good for the economy (business) and against LGBTQ+ issues, she voted for him.
I did a record scratch when I read that. I mean, those were the two things specifically mentioned so I had to assume that both were very important to her. And if that was the case, then fuck her. She went on to say she felt guilty as if she bought the gun that killed her family, but I had completely shut down by then.
I’m supposed to feel empathy for someone who voted specifically to get rid of people like me?
Here’s the thing, though. Once my anger faded (which was about a minute later), I did feel sympathetic towrds her. No matter her thoughts and beliefs, it still sucked what she was going through.