Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: toxic masculinity

Elden Ring–oh, fuck you

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I like watching Elden Ring content now that I’m done with the game. I tried to avoid it as much as possible before the game released because I  wanted the full experience, but once I finished the game, all Elden Ring content was fair game.

My favorite is Eurogamer with Aoife and other-Ian because they are the least-macho about FromSoft games. Aoife adores them and is better at them than average, but she is not preternaturally good at them like many FromSoft content creators are (they’re good at it, I mean. Like really good at it). Other-Ian loves the games and are good at them, but he’s impatient. That causes him to die more than he needs to.

Aoife did not mess with magic before Elden Ring. She was very careful to say that it was just because she did not like magic, not that there was anything wrong about it, but it was clear that she did not fully believe it. She has taken to magic in Elden Ring, saying she feels that magic has been shorted in the past few games. Which, uh, she can’t really say because she’s never played with magic before.

Full disclosure: I have never played Demon’s Souls because it is not on the PC. It is commonly known that the magic in that game was broken and OP. You had access to unlimited mana, which has not been the same in any of the other games. I cannot say if magic was OP in that game, but I can speak to the rest because I’ve played them all. There really is on magic in Bloodborne or Sekiro, so we are talking about the Dark Souls and Elden Ring when we talk about FromSoft magic.

The reason I am beating this drum again is because I was watching Elden Ring content and there was one I had started watching and stopped mid-video. I already low-key didn’t like the group because they were aggressively masculine. Not to the point of toxic masculinity, but not very inclusive. Lots of ‘bitch’ and other such epithets. I pressed play to see why I had stopped watching (and for whatever reason, YouTube rewinds a few seconds when you watch a video again) and within seconds, one of the guys said that he didn’t use magic because it was cheesing. He wanted to get up in the grill of–


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Toxic masculinity and the gaming industry

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With the news coming out about sexual harassment in comics, it was inevitable that stories of the same would come out in gaming as well. The two  are similar in terms of culture, and both are very laddy at best and a stew of toxic masculinity at worst. Even in the RKG group, I know there’s a base of laddishness that I have to accept. Inappropriate and quite frankly gross sexual jokes at time, tons of booze talk, and all the pop culture being referred to is masculine-heavy. Again, this is a group I willing belong to and have a good time engaging with other people to a certain extent. The only one. And in a very limited fashion.

When the news broke out that there was a lot of sexual harassment going on at IGN a few years ago, it didn’t surprise me in the least. Then, Chloi Rad posted this thread, and it made my blood boil (Ian alerted me to it):

I was furious, but I wasn’t surprised. It was obvious that Chloi wasn’t taken as seriously as they should have when they were at IGN. I was so happy when I first saw them because they were female-presenting (and in the closet at the time) and Asian. I loved their voice for being deep and husky like mine, and I loved that they knew their shit. I loved watching them play Soulsborne games, and I only wanted to watch them. But then, they started fading from the content, and I had a hunch it was because the powers that be didn’t want a woman (or someone who presented as a woman) as the face of the Souls games.

Side note: I love FromSoft games, obviously. I have written about them countless times. But, there’s something about them that brings out the worst in gaming culture. I think it’s partly the difficulty of the games and the way that gets hyped. I mean, the definitive edition on the PC is called Prepare to Die. This is one of the trailers for Dark Souls III. It’s funny as hell, but it also emphasizes the difficulty (and says ‘a man’ for the player character, when you can be either male or female).


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Not today, Satan. Not today

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I was going to go on a full-out rant about toxic masculinity, ‘boys will be boys’, cross-Atlantic culture differences, and video gaming culture, but I’m really not in the mood for it today. I’m still sick, though, thankfully the flu symptoms are gone. It’s all settled into my respiratory system, and my voice comes and goes as it pleases. When it comes, it’s still Barry White deep but not nearly as sexy what with the sneezes, sniffles, and hawking up loogies. I need to be in fighting form to do a full-throated rant and because I want to fully develop my theory of…well, I don’t have a pithy name for it, and I cannot for the life of me find the post in which I thought I wrote about it, but it’s a good theory. I swear!

I still can’t find it. I’ll look for it and craft the post and do it when I’m feeling better. In the meantime, enjoy the latest Oxventure (first of four parts). It actually is tangentially related to my rant. With that teaser, enjoy.

Get your gate-keeping out of my games

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Recently, in the RKG group, there was a post by a guy (gender relevant) which stated that it may be an unpopular opinion, but you cannot say you truly beat Bloodborne unless you do the Chalice Dungeons and beat all the bosses (paraphrasing). I posted my opinion which basically is who the fuck cares? I was more diplomatic than that, but it’s what it boils down to. I hate gate-keeping in…well, anything, but I notice it most often in things I care about, naturally.

First of all, just fucking state your opinion. That’s tangential to my rant, but it irks me when someone starts anything with ‘this may be unpopular’. Own your shit! Who cares if it’s unpopular or not? Of course, I might be particularly cynical in this instance because all of my opinions are unpopular. Well, not all, but many of them. In addition, my whole lifestyle is unpopular in one way or another, so I’ve become inured to it. In addition, it has a whiff of excuse giving in the beginning. Kind of like, ‘I’m not racist, but’ blah, blah, blah.

Again, that’s just a side note to the real irritation–men who unilaterally decide the markers that make someone a TRUE whatever fan. I later tweeted on Twitter that while I loved the Souls games, I hated this aspect of ‘the community’.

Side note: I love the Souls games with the intent to replay them. I love Sekiro, but it broke me. I intellectually thought Bloodborne was a good game, but I didn’t love it. I would replay it if it were on the PC, but I don’t like playing on the PS4. I would replay Sekiro until the cows came home if I could co-op. I understand why I can’t, but I’m not willing to spend ten hours on bird daddy or the last boss once again. So when I’m talking about the community, I mean the FromSoft community in general.

Anyway, I know the gate-keeping thing isn’t specific to FromSoft games, but there’s something about this kind of game that brings out the extreme toxic masculinity. I think it’s because the games are difficult to begin with, so if you play them, it’s easy to get an attitude about it. I will say beating a FromSoft boss is unlike any other feeling, especially after hours of failing against the same boss. There is a dopamine hit unlike any other, and it’s why I continue to play the games.

Part of my disgust is because who gets to be the keeper of the gate and why? Historically, it has been men. Mostly white straight cis dudes who hang every part of their identity on their knowledge of a certain thing. It’s a way to keep people out, and it’s similar to a ‘no girls allowed’ sign. It’s a way to make someone feel better about himself.


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Lay Down Your Guns, Boys

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I woke up to the news of the Las Vegas shooting, and I had a complex set of reactions. First, horror. Second, anger. Third, disbelief. Fourth, resignation. They happened rapidly and in that particular order. Sadly, the disbelief was just for how many people were injured/killed. It wasn’t that it happened, oh no. That’s a daily occurrence in America, and it barely gets a yawn from the press. The only reason this made the national news is because over 500 people were hurt and at least 58 people killed (according to ABC News). The scope is unfathomable, and it’s certainly newsworthy. I think the horror and anger are self-explanatory. The resignation, however, is because nothing will change. We’ll all be shocked and horrified–for a day or three. The politicians will say it’s terrible, and they’ll pray loudly for the families and friends of the victims. Then, they will continue to do exactly jack and shit about gun laws and other problems besetting America (more on that in a bit), and keep trying to take healthcare away from as many Americans as possible.

Let me be clear. Normally, when I’m railing about politicians, it’s implicitly understood that I mean Republicans. In this case, however, Democrats haven’t done much more to change our gun culture. I don’t think Democrats are as wedded to their guns as are Republicans, but it’s not a priority to them at all. Even PBO recognized the futility of trying to tackle this issue and mostly took a pass on it.

I’m not a fan of trotting out ‘the children’, but when Sandy Hook happened without barely a ripple in the national discussion of our peculiar brand of violence, I knew we had lost that fight. Most Americans at least give lip service to the sanctity of children’s lives, but we allowed Sandy Hook to happen with only the meekest of protests. That’s when I knew that we had accepted guns and some people’s inordinate love for them as an acceptable trade-off for losing lives at the blunt end of them.

I went on a Twitter rant right after I heard about it because I can’t believe we’re still putting up with this shit. Here it is:


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