I’m not a brave woman.
I am rabidly conflict-avoidant, and I’m always fearful. So, to see all the protests and people talking about resistance is very gratifying to me, but it also makes me feel ashamed.
I am always afraid. It’s a matter of extent, and it’s faded in time, but there’s always a nugget of fear in the back of my mind. I have to know the closest exit at all times, I will freak the fuck out if you touch me unexpectedly, and any time I’m in a tense situation, my PTSD kicks in.
I’ve heard more than one survivor of sexual assault talking about flashbacks and trigger warnings. Not about anything they read or see, but about the result of the election.
We talk about rape culture, and many people pooh-pooh that it exists. This is the clearest example that many people just don’t give a shit about sexual assault. Trump can be caught on tape saying he can grab any pussy he wants because he’s a star, and after the initial outrage, a collective yawn. “It’s just locker talk.” “He didn’t really mean it.” “All guys talk like that.”
And now, we’ve elected a man who’s a known sexual predator, who’s admitted to walking into beauty pageants’ dressing rooms unannounced, who humiliated the former Miss Universe in a very public way, who rates women on their looks and whether they are fuckable. I start hyperventilating just thinking about it. It reminds me of my traumatic past, except, there’s no way to get out of it.
Hey women, we don’t give a shit about you! The sickest part is that a majority of the white women who voted, voted for him! One reporter on Twitter said many conservative women told her only one issue mattered: abortion. Same as it ever was.
I fucking wish conservatives would actually understand that abortions always go down under a Democratic president. I know it probably wouldn’t matter, but I wish Democrats would be more vocal on this issue. We have allowed the right to shape the conversation for so long, we’re losing when we should be winning. What we should say, as one voice, is that when the economy is better, when women are more educated on their choices, when there’s access to preventative measures, abortions go down.
Goddamn it. Fuck all this. There are fingers pointing everywhere, and there are calls to unite. No. That ain’t gonna happen. I’m not gonna blast all Trump supporters, but I do not play nice with people who are trying to take away my rights. It’s not up to me to make nice–it’s fucking up to them. Those who are being harmed have no obligation to make overtures to the ones doing harm. I’m tired of being told I have to understand ‘them’–whether them is white Trump supporters or white liberals who didn’t vote for Clinton. I understand them perfectly well as I’ve been surrounded by them all my life. Where are the thousands of thinkpieces saying they should understand me? It’s frustrating that there are so many people willing to make excuses for why Clinton lost other than white people be cray.*
I saw a post by a college woman who voted for Trump, and it started out that she was not a racist, not a sexist, etc. She was a kind person. Then she talked about why she voted for Trump and how felt she had to hide her elation in class because her fellow classmates were talking about literally fearing for their lives. She didn’t utter anything compassionate about their fears, only whined about how she should be able to talk about her opinion, and how she’s really not a racist/sexist/whatever ist, y’all. Here’s the thing. I completely support her right to express her opinions. However, she needs to understand that part of expressing your opinion means you have to accept others might be pissed the fuck off because you voted against their humanity. I don’t give a fuck if someone is a racist/sexist/whateverist or if they give money to charities. If you vote for someone who has espoused such extremist opinions as Trump has, then you have a part in creating the shitstorm we are currently living. It’s not just politics; literal lives are at stake here.
Americans exaggerated sense of optimism has always baffled me. I’ve seen so many posts saying we have to rise up and we will overcome. How the hell can you guarantee that? I’ve also seen posts and tweets saying that we survived Reagan and W., so we can survive this. First of all, many people didn’t survive Reagan or W. Secondly, we’re still clawing our way out of the W. hole. Thirdly, we’re about to embark on a situation the likes of which we’ve never seen. Therefore, we have no idea what the fuck is going to happen. I’m not saying we should lose all hope and give up, but I don’t think saying, “This is gonna be fine!” is helpful, either.
Last night, I watched the first two episodes of Luke Cage, the touted Netflix/Marvel TV show. I loved the setting and the fact that it was set in Harlem. The actors are really good, and the main actor, Mike Colter, is insanely hot. However, and I hesitate to say this, the writing is weak. One of the first things they have Luke say is how he liked it when men were men. Then, two of the three prominent women on the show want to fuck him (the second actually does within an hour or so of meeting him), and I’m rolling my eyes. Sure, it’s satisfying when he beats up on the thugs who are menacing the elder Asian couple, but it’s ultimately, empty. That’s not how the real world works. Bad people often win, but for whatever reason, Americans can’t deal with that. I like comics and superhero movies, but I’m getting tired of them. The good/bad dichotomy; the us against them; and most of all, that good always win in the end. I see the same mentality for this shitshow, and I want to scream, “This isn’t a fucking movie, people. There might not be a happy ending to this for America.”
I read Trump’s First 100 Days plan with mounting horror. Petty thought: He didn’t write it himself. More serious thought: If this man implements his plan, he will destroy America in 100 days coupled with he doesn’t know a fucking thing about how any of this works. He wants to build the wall and make Mexico reimburse us for it? Take away 2 regulations for every new one passed? Install term limits for Congresspeople? The last made me chuckle heartily because when Mitch McConnell was asked about it, he shot it down immediately.
I do have a very dark sense of humor, so the idea that Republicans are squirming over his plan as much as Democrats are is delicious to me. Except, again, if Trump implements everything he’s outlined, we’re all fucked.
Which we are, anyway. The people he’s hired for his transition team/thinking of hiring for his cabinet:
Ben Carson, Secretary of Education.
Joe Arpaio, Homeland Security.
Sarah Palin, Secretary of the Interior.
Rudy Giuliani/Chris Christie, Attorney General.
Myron Ebell (leading climate change skeptic), head the EPA.
Jamie Dimon, CEO of JPMorgan, Treasury Secretary.
Newt Gingrich, Secretary of State.
Steve Bannon, Chair of Breitbart Media, Chief of Staff.
Kris Kobach, Kansas Secretary of State, architect of Arizona’s ‘Papers Please’ law, transitional team.
It’s as if they’re playing a game of ‘let’s think of the absolute worse person for the job’. It’s utterly horrifying, and no, I’m not going to give him a chance. Not when his First 100 Days Plan is so wretched.
I thought W. was bad, but this is going to be a nightmare. And I don’t know if America can pull itself out of it. I don’t know if we even should.
*Yes, I’m being sarcastic, but only just.