I am so close, I can taste it. From the minute my teacher put the practice Deerhorn Knives in my hands (hers, which she then so generously gave to me), I knew that I wanted them in my life forever.
Side note: Hilariously, I don’t think I will ever have a longterm romantic relationship, but I am loyal to my weapons.
I have always walked the circle with the Deerhorn Knives, but I could only dream of actually doing a Deerhorn Knives Form. Now, that dream is so close to reality, and I could not be more thrilled. I have included the same video today that I put in yesterday’s post–it’s my teacher’s teacher doing the Deerhorn Knives Form after walking the circle with them.
I have three movements/postures left in the Swimming Dragon Form (Solo/Hands). Two of them are difficult, but the last is just the closing posture. Today, I learned one more posture that was easy-peasy. It’s such a pleasant surprise when a new posture is easier than I thought it was going to be. This one took me four or five times repeating it to get it down. We’ll see if I remember it tomorrow.
I also have to be careful that I don’t overdo it. I have been adding more to my weapons routine, and I can really feel it in my arms. I did the fourth row of the cane on both sides with the cane, and then I did the whole form, both sides, with my saber. I love my new saber, but it’s really heavy. It’s deceptively heavy, some might say. You would not know it to look at it, but it’s weighty.
This is why I’m thinking about dropping the weight set. Do I really need to do it since I’m doing so much weaponry? I probably don’t, but I’m not quite ready to give it up.
I feel transformed by my realization that I am good at the weapons. I’ve always known I’ve had an affinity for them, but I minimized how good I was at them. I don’t know why, really. I have no problem saying I’m a good writer or that I’m good at reading people. However, when it comes to weapons, I had the firm belief that I wasn’t that good at them.
Writing is not something I practice in the sense of repetition of the same thing over and over again to make it a bit better each time. I practice it, of course, but it’s more about being creative and letting loose. With Taiji weapons, it has been learning the forms.
Until now. I played around more with the fan and the karambit. This is my current funtime good times weapon combo. As I mentioned before, I have not seen anybody do two different weapons at the same time. I can understand why as the balance is off. However, that’s one of the reasons I like doing two different weapons at the same time. The yin and the yang, and the very disparate feel of the different weapons.
So. for the upcoming month or two, I have the following goals:
1. Finish the Swimming Dragon Form. I think I can do this within two weeks. I actually think I could do it in less time, but I want to give myself some padding.
2. Start the Swimming Dragon Form with Deerhorn Knives. Or the form that I have included above (yes, the same video from yesterday. Deal with it). Anything with the Deerhorn Knives is what I’m saying. I cannot wait to start using them in something more than just walking the circle (which is shown at the beginning of the video).
3. Clean up my Double Saber Form. I love this form, but I was learning it at the start of the pandemic. I think? My memory is wobbly. I do know that my teacher taught me slightly more than half the form, but then admitted that she did not feel capable of teaching me the second half. She sent me the videos of her teacher doing it from the front side and the back side, respectively. I taught myself the rest of the form, and I loved it so much. It became an instant favorite, but I’ve gotten a bit sloppy with it. There are a couple of places that I need to clarify and clean up, which I’m more than happy to do.
4. Start the Double Fan Form. This is a very popular form, apparently. I have found several videos of it, and they are all to the same music–so I assume that’s the official form. I’m not keen on the music, and I am glad that I don’t have to use it when I learn the form.
5. Work on a Fan/Karambit Form. Seriously work on it, I mean. Not just mess around with it the way I’ve been doing. I think one reason I hadn’t thought I could come up with my own form was because I am not as into the methadology or the pedagogy of the martial arts as I am the practical applications. I did not think of myself as a true student of Taiji because I mostly went on vibes.I can tell you the basics of Taiji because I’ve heard them often enough, but I can’t discuss it in-depth. It’s not that I don’t care about the philosophy, but it’s not the main drive for me in doing the martial art.
I think that’s enough to focus on this year. I am going to clean up the rest of my forms as well. I think it’s best to check in on them every few months just to make sure I’m not getting sloppy. I have noticed that there’s a bit in the Fan Form that I’m glossing over, so I will revisit that soon. I think it’s partly my brain damage and partly just human nature. What I mean by the latter is that it’s human nature to get comfortable and let things slide.
I am proud of myself. I don’t say that often or lightly, but I think it’s warrented in this situation. I am only admitting it to myself because I don’t want to seem like I’m bragging. It’s more that I’m in wonder at how accelerated my learning has been in the past six months. I have finally put the pedal to the metal, and I’m going all-out in learning all the forms. All. The. Forms.
That’s all for today. More tomorrow.