I’ve been in a rut with my Taiji, I’ll admit. I had a discussion with my teacher about this. How to have a routine that didn’t become stale. With my morning routine, I would do some warm-ups and then my weapons. One section of the Solo (Long) Form was in there as well. More stretches at the end, roughly 45 minutes later, and call it a day. I’ve been doing that for ssome time, adding more and more weapons to the formula. It’s been good for me, but it’s gotten a bit stale. Even with adding the new weapon forms, it’s become a little rote.
The thing with Taiji is that you want to be in the moment. You don’t want to do anything solely by habit, but that’s hard to cultivate. We are creatures of habit and there is some benefit to it. Such as typing, for example. If I had to think about where the letters were every time I typed, I would not be as proficient as I am. It’s funny because a common office prank, apparently, is switching around the letters on the keyboard. That would do nothing to me beacuse I use the Dvorak system with a QWERTY keyboard and am a touch-typer, anyway.
In Taiji, I am at the level where I am teaching myself weapons. It’s not my teacher’s bailwick, and I enjoy teaching them to myself. It started with the pandemic. My teacher taught me the first half of the Double Saber Form, and then we dropped off because she was unsure of the second half. She sent me videos of her teacher doing the Double Saber Form, so I decided to teach it to myself.
I also taught myself the fan form. It was after I recovered from my medical crisis, and it’s a beautiful form. Then, I decided to take a break from new forms because I wanted to tweak and fine-tune the weapon forms I already knew.
To date, I know the Sword Form, left side and right side. Oh, and in Taiji, the teacher teaches you the right side, and then you teach yourself the left side. It’s a good way to see where you’ve gotten a bit, ah, forgetful with the form. It’s easy to glide over the bits that you’re not sure of–and this is the way to put your flaws front and center.
To that end (and, yes, I know I’m jumping around even more than usual), I have found a way to spice up my Taiji routine. In class, we are focusing on the Solo Long Form. I have not done anything other than the first section for quite some time. We have done all of the first section and the second section in class. We are halfway through the third section, and it feels a bit strange. I have not done this since before the pandemic, and my teacher’s teacher is refining the form. The video I have included of Master TT Liang doing the solo form is the basis for our current form.
Before the pandemic, I was working on teaching myself the left side of the third section. I had taught myself the left side of the first and second section, and I was about 2/3rds of the way done with the third section. Then, my teacher’s teacher started to mess around with the long form, seemingly changing everything every other week. I know that it’s one way of keeping it fresh, but it was frustrating to feel like I wasn’t learning anything.
It’s pretty set for now. My teacher is teaching it to everyone, and I’ve been enjoying it. I decided that teaching myself the left side would scratch the itch to do something new not atdding more weapon forms. The Guandao Form is going to be next, by the way, but I’m not quite ready to teach it to myself.
We are up to the third section of the Long (Solo) Form. About a third of the way through. In the last class I attended (online), my teacher had everyone in person doing something different. She started fumbling for something for me to do as I was the only one in Zoom. I said I’d work of the Fast Form, but after I did that once, I decided to work on the left side of the Solo Long Form. For whatever reason, I have a relatively easy time teaching myself the left side of a weapon form. However, when it comes t othe solo form, my brain refuses to work.
I tihnk it’s in part because of the brain damage I sustained from my medical crisis. It wasn’t a big deal, but there is some lingering trauma. I’m trying to think if I’ve taught myself the left side of a form since my medical crisis. Well, I’m working on the left side of the Cane Form (my least-favorite form), and I’m taking it really slow. I’ve decided to do it row by row (there are four), and I’m almost done with the first row.
I know the left side of the Sword Form and the left side of the Saber Form. Everything about the Sword Form was easy for me, in part because I just fell in love with it from the start. I’ve told this story a million times, but it was my origin story.
For a long time, months, probably, my teacher told me I needed to start the weapons. This was probably a year or two after I sttarted studying with her. I came up with all the excuses. I wasn’t a violent person. I wasn’t comfortable with weapons. This from the person who wanted to study Taiji so I could defend myself if necessary. I love the combat aspects of Taiji. I always want to know what the practical use for a movement/posture is.
But the weapons was a step too far. You have to know that I was raised as a helpless girl, a frail, fragile feminine being who…let’s just say my mother thought one-pound weights were heavy. I can do reps with 25-pound barbells, so it’s not like I’m delicate. But there was still something in my brain that was hammering home the idea that it was taboo.
My teacher did her best to convince me, but I am incredibly stubborn. So stubborn. It’s both a positive and a negative trait. It’s part of that oppositional nature that I’ve talked about before. It takes a lot to change my mind. I’m not proud of that, by the way. I’m just explaining how it is.
After months of talking to me and not getting anywhere (brick wall I am), my teacher pressed a practice (wooden) sword in my hand and told me just to hold it. I closed my hand over the hilt, and I instantly fell in love. That was all I needed to decide the sword was for me.
I pestered my teacher to teach me the Sword Form. She was gracious enough not to say, “I told you so”, but I would not have blamed her if she had. She was completely in the right, and I was grateful that she kept pushing it.
She taught me the Sword Form in record time. I took to it like a duck to water. Everything she taught me made sense, and I could not get enough. Once she taught it to me, I taught myself the left side. I thought it would be difficult, but it was not. In fact, and I still find this funny, the position I had the most difficulty with was the easiest one.
It was a transcendental experience. Truly, it was. It changed my life in a way that I can’t put into words. It made me, well, me. I have picked up other weapons and falling in love with some (double saber), but it will never be like the first time and my beloved sword.