I love myself. I had to start with that because it’s a revolutionary statement for me. I have spent most of my life hating myself. I was told both explicitly and implicitly that I was… just…wrong. This was suburban MN in the seventies. I was fat, Asian, brainy, and probably neurodivergent. I did not watch… Continue Reading
In yesterday’s post, I talked about things that unwittingly push my buttons. Or rather, wittingly, but seemingly randomly. I know what it is, though. It’s me being understanding all over the place and not getting it in return. With every subject, I am in the invisible/ignored category. With race, it’s because I’m Asian. With sexuality,… Continue Reading
In yesterday’s post, I touched on how we humans make things harder on ourselves. This is true in general, and even more so with family dysfunction. What we grew up with was the norm, and if it was unrelenting, then it can be hard to break free. In my family, women were subjugated to men… Continue Reading
Gender is a construct. The end. Nah, I’m just funning. I mean, I’m not, but I am. But I’m not. But I am. Got that? That’s how my brain goes, by the way. It’s been that way for my whole life, but I’m better able to deal with it now. In part beacuse of Taiji;… Continue Reading
In my idealized world, I would be able to express my opinions without getting o ton of pushback every time. To be clear, I’m not talking about truly reprehensible opinions such as “All (kind of animals) should be killed.” or “(Group of people who can’t change who they are) should not be allowed to live.”… Continue Reading
Yesterday, I was writing about how I’m a contrarian, but I couldn’t decide if it was organic or a reaction to societal norms. I wandered all over the place as is my wont. The reason I am thinking about this is because I am considering doing video. I have looked at a bunch of different… Continue Reading
I’ve been called a contrarian. I am. But not for the reasons you would think. My mother once said to me in exasperation that just because something was traditional, it didn’t mean it was bad. I retorted by saying that just because something was traditional, it didn’t mean it was good, either. She didn’t like… Continue Reading
In continuing the discussion from yesterday, my brother called last night. My mother had called him to talk about my father. Of course. She mentioned hospice, but she thought it would hasten my father’s demise if she did that. To which my brother said, ‘Good’. Not to her, I assume, but to me–though not uite… Continue Reading
In yesterday’s post, I mentioned James Blunt’s song, Monsters, about saying goodbye to his dying father (who is still alive, thanks to a miracle kidney transpalnt). The song is powerful and makes me bawl like a baby–but not for the reasons that most people would cite. Many of the reactors I watched talked about how… Continue Reading
I heard a new song last night via the Rob Squad. It’s James Blunt’s Monsters. I don’t usually fuck with JB because I find him annoying, but they said it was the most emotional reaction they’ve had. The song had me sobbing like a baby in part because JB is so raw in it and… Continue Reading