Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: weird

But what if I’m the weird one?

I’ve been reading an old open thread post on Ask A Manager (AAM)  in which Alison asks about people’s weirdest coworkers. It’s been amusing, but it’s also been informative. In the back of my mind as I was reading was, “What if I’m the weirdo?” Or, more to the point, I *know* I’m the weirdo. When I used to work in an office, I was definitely the weirdo. In the first place I worked (day treatment for juvies*), I felt out of place for so many reasons. The first month I was there, they had their annual retreat on which I had to go. It was awkward, obviously, and then one night, everyone got hammered and decided to play, “Never Have I” when it came to drugs. After alcohol and marijuana, I was done, and I watched incredulously as the rest of my coworkers kept raising their hands. Not only did I feel weird and out of place, but I was like, “You guys work with kids who struggle with these issues.” It was hypocritical as most of them seemed proud of the shit they’d done.

At the same place, there was a woman in the other program (for truant kids, not actual juvies) who spackled on makeup with a spatula. I mention this because one day, she looked at me through heavily-encrusted eyes and said, “You would be the perfect poster child for a makeover.” I didn’t wear any makeup and didn’t give a shit about my hair (other than to brush it and make sure it was neat) and clothes (clean and no holes), and when she said that, I thought to myself, “I’d rather be that than look like an over-sized Kewpie doll.” I could tell story after story about that place, but my point is that I did not fit into the culture. At all.

The reason I like to read advice columns isn’t just because they have stories that are unbelievable and entertaining (although, many times, heartbreaking as well), but it’s because with the ones I have carefully curated, there is always a few people who are similar to me. It helps me feel like less of a weirdo. In the particular thread I mentioned in the first paragraph, there was one woman, bearcat (fairly sure it’s a woman) who declared that she was the weird coworker. Reading what she wrote, I thought, “Except for the aromatherapy scentball, you’re the COOL coworker” (which is exactly what someone else wrote). I mean, she freaking hula-hooped at work. How cool is that?

It got me thinking how someone’s weird is someone else’s cool. Maybe I could just own my weirdness, but I’m not there yet. I’m not ashamed of it for the most part, but I’m not proud of it, either. What makes me weird? So. Many. Things.


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I have another dentist appointment, something like the fourth one in four months.  The last was for a root canal, and this is for a filling. I have another one in a month for a cleaning, and it’s just too depressing to think about. I know it’s a natural consequence of not going to the dentist for years, especially when I have really shitty teeth, but it’s still frustrating to deal with. I’m trying to be equanimous about it, but it’s not easy. I know there’s nothing i can do about it, and I know it’s better to deal with them now than to wait on it, but it’s still not fun at all.

I’m also grumpy because we were supposed to have a foot of snow yesterday, and we got something like four 3.5  inches. 3.5 inches is not a foot! It’s better than nothing, of course, but it’s a bit frustrating that after the huge build-up, it amounted to much ado over nothing.

I’m also trying to find a new video game. I finished Night in the Woods (will write a post about it later), and it’s going to be difficult to find a game that resonates with me the way this game has. The funny part is that after my first playthrough, I was satisfied and liked the game, but I had real issues with certain aspects of it (including the ending and the big mystery), but then I saw Errant Signals’ video about the game, and he mentioned that it really benefits from another playthrough.

I saw a ton of things in his video that I hadn’t seen in my first playthrough, so I started another game. I made different choices, and I tried to be as observant as possible. I got a different ending of sorts, met more characters, got new scenes, and felt much better about the game as a result. Surely, I had seen almost everything, right? Yet, I still had over half the achievements to unlock, so there had to be more to find. What could I do but start a third playthrough? Which I did.

I don’t want to get into it much here because I will be writing a long-form piece about it later, but I have to say that this game burrowed its way deep into my heart, and I can’t let it go. I adore Mae Borowski the main character because she *is* me (or the me I was many years ago, although I wasn’t as mouthy as she was) in ways I’ll definitely explore later.

In the meantime, see Chloi’s review on the game. It’s pretty spot-on.

By the end of the third playthrough, I was firmly in love with this game, and it’s going to be difficult to find a follow-up game that will keep my interest the way this game has.

Oh, and the music is fucking fantastic. I actually bought the soundtrack, which I’ve never done before (for a game).

Anyway, I will be writing about it for Friday’s post. Keep an eye out for it.