Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: freak

No Guilt; Only Pleasure

 

 

The concept of ‘guilty pleasure’ has always been an anathema to me. I mean, I get it intellectually. “This is so bad, but I like it!” Shame shame shame (real or imagined). But, I don’t have that, and I think there are a few reasons for it. One, I’ve always liked things/thought things that are outside the norm. I got used to having to defend things such as why I don’t want to have children (which, by the way, still don’t want *waves at people who insisted I would change my mind*) or get married, why I don’t wear makeup or like traditionally feminine things, and just about every other aspect of my life including my sexuality. After explaining why I didn’t want to have kids (before I learned that ‘no’ was an answer in and of itself or that I didn’t actually have to answer) for the umpteenth time, the fact that I like, say, The Pina Colada Song*, ain’t no skin off my nose.

Tangent: I post this video on my FB wall every now and then. Apparently, I did it two days in a row, and someone playfully thanked me for giving them the earworm. They said they would have to retaliate if I posted it for a third day in a row. Guess what I did? Damn right I posted it for the third day in a row! They responded with this:

Which, you probably won’t be surprised to learn, is another unironic fave of mine. I embraced it fully.

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Fringe Benefits?

Most of the time, I am perfectly fine with being on the edge of American society. I am *deep breath* a Taiwanese American, bisexual, fat, old, unmarried, childfree, agnostic teetotaling, makeup-free, taiji-practicing/sword-loving woman with four tats who hates shopping, cooking, and clothing, but likes video games, graphic novels/comics, and sports*. ┬áIt’s just who I am, and it’s not something I think about most of the time.

However, once in a while, I can’t help but think it’s would be easier and less lonesome if I were a bit more mainstream. Take alcohol, for example. I grew up in a non-drinking household, and I never had the desire to drink. First of all, I’m allergic as are the majority of Asians because we don’t have the gene that breaks down alcoholic enzymes, but that obviously doesn’t stop other Asians from drinking. I’m sure I had the random glass of wine or beer when I was a teenager, but I didn’t really experiment with alcohol until I was in college. Even then, the thought of getting smashed every weekend didn’t appeal to me. I had heard about beer that you just had to keep trying until you found one you liked, but that seemed stupid to me. Why dedicate so much energy to something that was so distasteful to me just so that I *might* discover something halfway enjoyable? It didn’t work, anyway. I remember a chocolate raspberry beer that was tasty, but that was because of the chocolate and the raspberry. I did find one beer that was acceptable to me–Bud Lite. When people found out that was my favorite beer, their usual response was, “It doesn’t even taste like beer!” To which I would retort, “That’s why I like it! It’s water with a waving of beer running through it.”

Wine is even worse. I hate it, and I’m the most allergic to it. I don’t know if it’s the tannins or what, but there is something especially repugnant about wine to me. When I did drink (infrequently, maybe twice a year, three times at most), I preferred hard alcohol–it’s the one I’m least allergic to. Gin & tonic or rum & Diet Coke were my go-tos, with an amaretto sour thrown in for variety. Even then, I disliked what the alcohol did to me–made me red all over, and I became short of breathing. It all came to a head when I was celebrating a birthday, I want to say my 40th, and I had some kind of ‘dessert’ drink with chocolate, whipped cream, and probably Kahlua and/or Irish whiskey. I found myself thinking, “This is tasty, except for the alcohol.” That’s when I realized that I could have a delicious dessert drink without alcohol because I was a fucking adult, damn it, and I could drink what I pleased.


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