Let’s talk about martial arts. Why? Because they are very important parts of my life and because I want to. I think those are good enough reasons. I’ve decided that I’m going to do both the idealistic version and the realistic version in one post. Maybe intertwined. ‘Coz that’s how I roll.
First, though, I have to say that this last year has been hard. Really hard. Both for personal reasons and political reasons, and they kind of bounce of feach other. I’m not the most optimistic person in the first place, and this year has made it even worse. In addition, K is having a hard time, too, which only emphasizes and underscores the roughness.
I don’t expect 2026 to be better in that vein; indeed, I’m just bracing myself to see how much worse it gets. The last time I talked to K, I mentioned again that when I went to get my license renewed after my birthday in 2024, there was the option of nonbinary for gender on the form for the first time.
I was amazed and delighted, but I was also hesitant. With the specter of the election coming and the very real chance that things would change for the drastically worse if Biden was not reelected, well, I thought long and hard about changing my gender to nonbinary. For one, it’s not how I identifys–though it’s the closest of the three that were available. For two, I really did not want the smoke I might get if I was pulled over with nonbinary on my driver’s license. Look. I’m already a visible minority (Asian), so why would I want to add another minority (nonbinary) to it? Especially when it’s not the label I have chosen as my own, and doubly especially when I want to think less about gender–not more.
I reluctantly chose female, but I did not feel good about it. I could not help but note to myself that four years earlie, had it been a choice, I would have probably chosen nonbinary. Or if I were twenty years old. I’m not going to get into the latter right now, but just trust me that it makes sense. I don’t like the choice I made, but I also don’t regret that I chose female.
Back to martial arts, specifically Taiji and Bagua. I know about ten forms, most of them on both the left and right sides. I want to refine them. All of them. In 2026. Yes, that’s idealistic, but hey, why not reach for the stars? I also want to go back to the beginning and really polish my Solo (Long) Form. Going back even further than that, there are a few basics that I need to work on–like keeping my shoulders down.
I want to elevate my forms, as it were. And I want to clean them up. I am aware of the areas in which I fudge things, which is normal. Everyone does it to some extent; I just want to refine my forms every day.
So. Here’s my dream. I will teach myself a whole new weapon form. Maybe the Swimming Dragon Form with DeerHorn Knives. Maybe a Double Sword Form if I can find a decent one. Perhaps the rest of the Karambit Form. Or, if I want to go really pie-in-the-sky, all three. And I’d like to create a weapon form of my own.
My teacher has two classmates who really love weapons, too. One of them, at the last demo, did a form he had created. It was an unsheathing a sword form. Which blew my mind, honestly. It was fascinating to watch, and he’s clearly so talented–but it was not in my wheelhouse of interest.
I fiddled a bit with the karambit and the fan. I don’t know of any form that has one person using two different weapons. I’m not saying there isn’t one because I’m pretty sure I’m not the first to think of it, but I haven’t found one yet.
The thing is, it’s more for performance than anything else. I can’t think of a practical reason to have two different weapons, really. But it’s so fun to do. And it could be a way to keep the enemy off-guard. That’s a bonus, really.
I’m fine with the only reason for me doing it is for my own satisfaction. Not everything has to be for practical reasons. As long as I stick to the principles of Taiji, it does not really matter if the form is conventional or not.
Again, thinking idealistically, I’m leaning towards creating either a Double Sword Form or a Karambit/Fan Form. The latter sounds more intriguing, but the former sounds more plausible. I suppose since I’m just dreaming, I can say idealistically, I’ll do both. However, even at my most idealistic, which I will admit is not very idealistic, there’s no way I can create two different weapon forms in a year.
It would be more realistic and practical to practice drills for two swords and then create that form. As I’m deraming big, though, so I’ll throw creating a Karambit/Fan Form to music into the mix.
Side note: Funny thing about the forms. It can take so long and so much effort to learn one, but actually performing it takes two or three minutes (not including the Solo Form). Well, more like five minutes or so, but it’s still a very short amount of time.
When I am at my very best, I feel at one with my weapon(s). They are extensions of my hands, and I don’t have to think about what I’m doing. I can get into the flow, and it’s as if the weapons are moving me.
I am so at peace when I’m working on my weapons forms. It is my happy place, and I am so grateful that my teacher pushed me to learn the sword. Had she not, my life would look so much different now–and I would be for the worse.
It’s late so I’m going to cut this short today and pick it up again tomorrow.