In yesterday’s post, I was writing this and that, not with any real focus. But it was about Taiji, mostly. And, yes, I will be writing more about it again.
I have said before that I am a mix of regulated and free-wheeling. This is evident with my Taiji practice, too. I do the same thing every day when it comes to the stretching and the warmups. Usually in the same order, but sometimes…not. Sometimes I get a bit bored and mix things up, but most of the time, I go in the same order we do it in class. When I can remember it. It’s funny for something I’ve done a million times, I can suddenly forget what goes before what.
It’s something that hearkens back to what I was saying, actually. Yes, it’s good to have the routine and do things over and over so it becomes a habit. Yens, it’s good to get it in your bones so that it’s automatic (but you should still be thinking about it). At some point, though, ti’s not about the routine–it’s about the Taiji. I know how eye-rolling and cringe that sounds, but it’s true.
My teacher has said to me several times that the form is not a holy text (paraphrasing heavily), and we shnould not worry too much about getting it exactly right. As I mentioned yesterday, for all the supposed rugged individualism of America is very much all talk and no action. In reality, America is very much about conforming and bootlicking your ‘betters’ in order to not be thrown in the dungeons.
When it comes to exercise, there is the tendency to do the same thing over and over again. I want to emphasize there’s no shame in that bmecause it’s so heavily embedded in our DNA. Even now, I ask my teacher about variations, and she tells me to use my best judgment.
I love that there are several different forms for each weapon. Below, I am including yet another Yang-style Fan Form that is just beautiful. The instructions are in Chinese which I don’t understand, but watching it makes it quite clear what to do (to me). It is different from the start, but the same basic principles are there.
I love the snapping of the fan, and flicking it open and close. There is something so satisfying about it. I think in part it’s because it’s the open weapon you can do that with. There is no opening and closing of any other weapon that I can think of.
In watching this form, it’s more aggressive than the one I do (which I am very much into). THis is the problem with watching other weapon forms. Every time I see a new one, I want to learn that one. There are so many forms and so little time. I do want to teach myself the guandao at some point, but there are many issues with that. One, I cannot find any Yang-style Taiji version. Most of them are Chen-style Taiji (bad for the knees) or Xingyi, which I don’t know. My teacher has shown me the basics because her teacher teaches Xingyi. That is based on animal movements, and it’s must more aggressive than Taiji. WAY more aggressive. I’ve seen it at the demos, and it’s very muscular.
Just an interesting note: I have never seen a woman do it. I’m not making any statements with that or coming to any conclusions–it’s just interesting.
The guandao is one of the heaviest if not the heaviest Chinese polearm. This is a very cool version of the Guandao Form, and while I do not know what discipline it is, I do know it’s badass. I love it, and I want to learn it, but it’s just not practical at this point in my life. Or rather, after cleaning up the forms I already know, I have a few other forms that are within my discipline–well, that’s not completely true. Next up is the Karambit (dagger) Form, which is not Taiji nor Bagua. It is it’s own thing, and my teacher’s teacher learned it because he thought it was cool. He taught it to my teacher and her peers, but my teacher never really felt comfortable with it. I know this because she taught me about half of it and then stopped, citing her being unsure about the second half as a reason not to continue.
As I have said before, weapons are not her thing. She much prefers the Solo Form and Bagua. What I appreciate is that she now trusts me to teach myself whatever weapon I want. That’s such a huge thing, and I don’t take it likely. It’s still amazing to me because I feel like a lumbering fool most of the time. Even when I do a form competently, all I can think of are the mistakes.
I will say, though, that it’s been much easier to clean up my Fan Form and my Cane Form than it was learning them in the first place. That makes sense, of course, but it still makes me marvel. I still don’t like the Cane Form, but I at least want to be able to do it well.
I love the Fan Form, especially now that I’ve cleaned it up. It’s beautiful and elegant, but also understated. Yes, it’s delicate and feminine, but there is also a power to it. And, as I have noted, I can carry it around with me as I cannot do with my sword or saber. I ordered a better fan (I have sevearl cheapo ones), and I cannot wait to get it.
This is how I know I’m getting serious about the weapons (more serious). I am slowly replacing my cheap practice weapons with better ones, and I’m pondering how to buff out the handle of my sword. It’s plastic, though, so I’m not sure how well that will work. I just got a nice saber, and it feels really balanced in my hand. I’m thinking of getting a nice set of double sabers, too, from the same place. The nice saber is heavier than my wooden one, obviously, so doing my weapon forms is definitely weight-bearing exercise.
I love my weapons so much. This is not a hobby I talk about with many people, but it’s so important to me. It makes me who I am.