When I was in my twenties, I realized I didn’t want to have children. More to the point, I realized I didn’t have to have them–if I was willing to push back on the societal message that a woman is nothing if she doesn’t breed. I got a lot of shit for it, only from women,… Continue Reading
I’m Taiwanese American, but way more American than Taiwanese. I was born and raised in Minnesota, which is about as middle America as you can get. I grew up in an extremely white suburb at a time when the motto for immigrants was the dreaded melting pot–as in, you damn well better melt into the… Continue Reading
I’ve been writing about dating a lot lately because it’s on my mind. Before the pandemic hit (two years ago!), I had decided that I wanted to start dating again. Or at least tapping that ass on the regular. What can I say? I have terrible timing. When the pandemic hit, I obviously set aside… Continue Reading
I am a woman. Or am I? I’m not a man. That’s for sure. Am I nonbinary? Maybe, but that doesn’t really feel like me, either. As always, I just want to sigh and walk away when I think of gender. Introspection is great, but there is a limit to it. Or at least there… Continue Reading
So. I have written many times about my confusion over my gender identity. It’s never been that I feel like a man, though I have wished to be male many times in my childhood. It wasn’t because I felt like a boy, but because I hated being a girl so much. It was so limiting… Continue Reading
One of the way allies are encouraged to be supportive of trans/nonbinary people is by putting their pronouns in their email sigs. I’ve seen this subject come up from time to time on Ask a Manager. Almost every time, nonbinary folk and trans folk point out that it’s not helpful to people who aren’t out… Continue Reading
I was reading my stories (advice columns) and one question came up about going to a Finnish spa (in Finland) with your coworkers (if you’re American). One thing that struck me was that it was divided by gender. We can see the problems with that, yes? Especially now that we are more aware of the… Continue Reading
One thing about my medical experience is that it really separated the wheat from the chaff. What I mean is that many of the things I was anxious about in the Before (hospital) Times, simply do not matter any longer. It’s hard to talk about it without seeming condescending or as if I’m glossing over… Continue Reading
For most of my life, I’ve defined myself mostly by what I am not. I am not normal. I am not like other people. I am not feminine in that I don’t care about fashion, hair, or makeup. Though since the hospital, I’ve been having more fun with my hair. I did it in Chun-Li… Continue Reading
I talked in my last post about two letters I’d read in Care & Feeding (Slate), one right after the other. They had to do with highly sensitive people and how parents/grandparents reacted to them. The third and fourth letters were about gender identity and closely related. The third letter is from a mom grieving… Continue Reading