I wrote an article about my medical trauma, Elden Ring, and Taiji weapons–and it was published by PCGN, who are a big deal. A really big deal. I got the gig through networking (Ian works for them), which is the first time that’s happened for me. Ian approached me with the idea and in the past, I would have dithered until the time had passed when it would have been optimal for me to accept the offer.
I am often my own worst enemy. I delay doing something until the decision is out of my hand. I feel bad the whole time, but not bad enough to actually do it. This time, however, I jumped on it for two reasons. One, writing about Elden Ring! That’s all I’ve been doing for the past month–might as well make it official. Two, my life in the last six months! It’s become normal to me (for lack of better word); it’s nice to be reminded that it’s truly a remarkable story.
It was an interesting process. I always think about my pieces before I actually write. I basically write it all in my head. I don’t do outlines, by the way, at least not written ones. Then, I regurgitate everything onto paper (screen), writing madly to capture every thought.
Side note: My brother and I used to argue about how to use Google. He liked to use as general terms as possible to get more results than less. I, on the other hand, use very restricted terms because I want the best possible results. About a year ago, my brother admitted I was right (oh, how sweet!).
I bring this up because it’s the opposite of how I write. When I write, I just put every possible thought into the piece. I was given 2,000 words as a soft limit; my rough draft ended up at 4,000 words. That’s right–I doubled it up. That’s not uncommon with me. I used to write 2,500 words on the regular for a singular post.
Now, it’s more like 1,200 – 1,500, just because I have learned to hold myself back a bit. I can still get verbose, however, as that is my true nature. Still. 4,000 words? That was pushing it quite a bit. And I left a bunch out as well.
It took me three or four days to write it all down. Then, I got the metaphorical red pen out and started slashing. In my mind, I wanted to cut out a thousand words from when I was in the hospital and a thousand words from when I left the hospital and went home.
Basically, if I waffled at all about a paragraph, it was out. Normally, I have a hard time editing, in part because I was very precious about my words. Even though I am prodigious with my words and can vomit a million words a minute, I felt as if each one was a polished pearl. Which, obviously, is bullshit.
Now, I might have swung too far in the opposite direction, but I embrace edits. Cut away, says I. There is so much chaff along with the wheat, might as well get rid of as much as possible. I tend to be long-winded when I write, anyway, so it’s a good thing to have editors who are ruthless. The best editors retain the writer’s voice while cutting away the dross. It’s an art in and of itself, honestly. I once had an editor who did not get this and she butchered my voice with her corrections. In this piece, I highly doubt a reader would be able to tell what the editor inputted and what is mine.
What normally makes it difficult to edit is that I have all these ideas in my brain and that are connected to me. They might not be to anyone else, but they are to me. For example, Elden Ring and Taiji weapons are related in my brain. Why? Who knows? maybe because they both have to do with weapons and I do them on the daily? Because they’re two of my favorite things? Both are equally plausible reasons.
It took me a few hours to cut down the piece, but I got there. I ended up with roughly 2,200 words–which was quite good! I was pleased with that because I never use one word when ten will do. By the time I was done with it, I was convinced it was the worst thing I had ever written.
That’s not unusual, though. It’s because when you write something, you become consumed by it. And think about it all the time. Then, you lose the ability to think of whether it’s good or bad. Plus, after reading it several times, it becomes bland and boring as you read it yet again.
The thing to do is leave it for a day or two before picking it up again. In that time, the editor was having a go at it so I could forget about it as best I could until it was published. Then, when I read it again, I thought, “That’s actually quite good.” I mean, if it was written by someone else, I would be much more effusive in my praise.
It feels good to write something for public consumption again. It’s been a long time, and I felt such a warmth as I saw my byline. It was even better that it was about something I really liked and was obsessed with–Elden Ring. It would be amazing if I could write more about FromSoft games in the future. I really appreciate Ian for suggesting me to his editor and for PCGN having an initiative to promote diversity in their writing. They have money set aside specifically for that reason, which is probably more than most gaming sites. I like that they are putting their money where their mouths are–and are not shy about promoting it. I’ve read their site and they do have diverse points of view. it’s not just lip service with them; I appreciate them giving me the opportunity to add to that.
It’s been great to have this on my plate and to actually do it. I am proud of myself for not hemming and hawing until the opportunity faded into the dust. That’s what I would have done in the past, even if it made me feel guilty to be flaky about it. It’s wonderful to have people read my words and to be affected by them. Hopefully, this will just be the start of a beautiful new career. New life, new attitude, who this?