I have been musing about the ten games that define me, and I made it to number four in the time I allotted to myself yesterday. Quite frankly, I’m pleasantly surprised I got that far, and let’s see if I can get four more today. I doubt it, but know hope!
Before I dive in, I want to say that this is not necessarily a list of my ten favorite games, but of the ten games that you need to know are important to me in order to know me. With that distinction in mind, let’s dive in.
5. Night in the Woods (Infinite Fall). This game broke me. I didn’t expect it, too, and it wasn’t an immediate break. I will be frank. The reasons I played it was because I dug the graphics, I dug the vibe, and I really dug that the protag was a small, awkward black cat. I will be honest. I did not gel with the game for the first few hours. I felt I was fighting the game more than I was playing it. And, I missed a very important mechanic of the game for my entire first playthrough.
I really liked the protagonist of the game. I identified strongly with her as a morose, depressed, anxiety-ridden, quite possibly neurospicy, bisexual, self-loathing individual who was convinced that everyone hated her. Plus, she was a black cat. Black cats are my favorite animal of all, so that was a plus in her favor, too. In addition, the relationships were so well drawn in the game, they hit me hard.
I played it through three times, and I fell in love more with the game with each playthrough. This game was genius in the way it opened up story-wise. Depending on how you play it, you could be given a story that while rich, was just a narrow strip of what the game had to offer.
I have not seen another game like it, quite honestly. And I have not had another game hit me as hard as this one did. I have not felt seen by a game like I have with this one. I full-on ugly sobbed while playing it, and I felt it deep to my bones. Not only did the game capture the personality of Mae perfectly, it showed how bleak it was in rust town, USA, how hopeless it can feel, what good friendships you can build, and how families can be fractious and loving at the same time. I related to so much of this game, I have it at number one of my favorite non-FromSoft games of all time. And it’s not even close. I have thought about going back to it, but I think it’s better to leave it as a very fond memory.
6. Spiritfarer (Thunder Lotus Games). This is another cozy game that is about death. This is my jam, really.
Side note: I am a weirdo when it comes to–well, anything, but in this particular case, games. I like FromSoft games* and cozy games that involve death, but other than that, my interests are scattershot. I still like casual games, and in fact, I use them to chill the fuck out between more intense games. I like a few roguelike/lites, too. Cozy games is a wide umbrella term, and I like several games that fall under that wide umbrella.
Back to Spiritfarer. There is a cat involved, and at a certain point in the game, I can give the cat, Daffodil, black fur. Of course I do that, and it gave me much joy. Stella is the silent protag who is the titular spiritfarer. What that means is taking dying people to the Everdoor, the gate to the next world.
The gameplay is a bit much in this game (too much resource gathering), but the emotional heft of the game is huge. The art design is simply lovely, and the vibes are immaculate. I 100% this game because I wanted to spend more time in it. I never wanted to leave Stella, Daffodil, and the crew.
One of the earliest passengers on Stella’s boat was Gwen. She was a gruff, hard-bitten deer who had known Stella for many years. They weren’t close friends because Gwen could not be close to anyone, but they were friends. Gwen had a shell around her because of abuse from her father. She swilled black coffee like it was going out of style, and she smoked like a chimney. She resonated hard with me for many reasons. In fact, I was so drawn to her, I did not take her to the Everdoor when I should have. It took me way more time than I care to admit to finally bring her on her final journey.
This resonated so deeply within me, despite the gameplay. Which, really, is how I roll in general. You need to know that story and emotions will always trump combat/gameplay to me. Or, to use the dreaded squishy word, vibes. I’m a huge vibes person in that I can play a game that has good vibes and not-so-great-gameplay (looking at you, Wylde Flowers (Studio Drydock)) for hours, but I go cold on a game that has what most people say is brilliant gameplay, but a lack of story/lore/emotions (such as Lies of P (Round8 Studio/NEOWIZ)).
Hmph. Nope. Not gonna rail against Lies of P once again. Moving on.
Spiritfarer took me by surprise as the best games often do. I thought it would be lots of sim stuff (which, true), and I knew one of the main themes was death, but I just did not expect it to hit me so hard. Stella didn’t talk, and I feel like that was a deliberate choice so that the player could pour their emotions into Stella.
I resonated with Stella beacuse I am often someone who has people pouring their emotions into me. I do talk, sometimes, too much, but I am also a really good listener. Stella was the ultimate listener and very compassionate. But she also had her own tragic story, which I half-sussed out about halfway into the game.
This game in tandem with Night in the Woods are my two most heartfelt games. I don’t think I have ever cried that much while playing a video game before–or since. You need to know that I’m a softie in some ways–and both these games hit me in my soft spot.
Well. I managed to write about two games this time! I’ll be back tomorrow with part three.
*For now. I think they are moving past me.