I’m weird. I know it; you know it; we all know it. I think about things in a way most people don’t. And I’ve learned over the years to keep it to myself. I’ve talked at length how I’ve realized that I just don’t think like other people do. Sometimes, it’s ok. Most of the time, it’s not. I am able to see nuance where other people may not.
For example, I used to smoke two to three cigarettes a day. I started when I was in college and never smoked more than that. It was a ritual for me. Go outside, light up, smoke a quarter or half, then put it away for later (after putting it out, of course). My favorite doctor told me it wasn’t that big a deal that I smoked a couple cigs a day, which I was glad to hear. It seemed like moderation would be similar to that of alcohol. Later, I had to switch docs for a different reason, and the substitute doc I saw in the interim was insistent that I had to quit. I wasn’t trying to argue that smoking was good or even neutral for me, but it wasn’t at the top of my list of things to worry about.
“Smoking two cigarettes a day is the same as smoking a pack a day!” She declared. With that, I lost any respect I had for her because it was so clearly false what she had just said. When my favorite doc said that smoking two cigs a day was no biggie, I asked why more docs didn’t say things like that. She said it was because people didn’t listen to nuance. If she told most people that, they would only hear that it was ok to smoke and smoke three packs. Which, fair. People did tend to hear what they wanted to hear.
I have a big issue with how ubiquitous alcohol is in polite society. Not drinking is considered weird. People have to have an excuse for not doing it, which is so weird to me. I’m at the point where I don’t care about it, but it’s still not something I want to be around. The lads of RKG were talking about how gross smoking was and how they would never date someone who smokes. Which, fair enough. I am firmly in the corner of date whomever you want (ethically sound, of course), but I had to laugh because they were really going off on smokers. Whereas they get drunk on the regular and have video of them acting up while drunk. Somehow, that’s acceptable, but we’ve vilified smoking to the point where you’ll get glares if you do it in public. Rory did mention that maybe some people would have problems with the way they drink the way they have problems with other smoking (which was surprising from him because he’s not the most aware of these things), but they were still so dismissive of it.
Now, granted, smoking causes harm to others around them in a way drinking does, but on the other hand, smoking does not change people’s personalities the way alcohol does. I hate being around drunk people because they are never as clever or funny as they think they are. I’ve often had to listen to a drunk person maundering on about something important to them that is just utter bullshit. It’s never fun being the sober person in the room.
It’s interesting to me how deeply invested in drinking some people are. I would say society, too. It’s taken as the default–drinking, I mean. Someone who isn’t drinking has to have a reason for it whether it’s being pregnant or religious reasons or being a recovering alcoholic. I do have a reason–I’m allergic to it, but that’s not the real reason. I don’t like alcohol and I don’t like what it does to people. I would choose not to drink, even if I weren’t allergic because I don’t like being out of control.
I know that most people drink and that I’m the weirdo. I don’t think it should be strange for me to say I don’t drink, but it is. I don’t want to bring down the room, but I also want people know that it’s a valid option. It’s always a gamble to know whether to bring it up or not.
It’s the same with my medical crisis. I know it should be OK for me to bring it up, but I always feel self-conscious about it. It’s not a casual thing and how are people supposed to react? On the other hand, it’s my life. It’s very important, especially in shaping my current viewpoint. I don’t know how to explain that to people without going into it in detail.
I think it would be surprising to people to learn that I am basically a libertarian. If you w ant to make life choices for you that do not harm other people, then go for it. And I do mean that for almost everything ,ranging from relationships to religion to personal choices.
I say it’s might be surprising because I’m down with libertarians who are just into doing things for selfish reasons or wanting things to always benefit them. I do believe in the collective good so I’m all for taxes to fix the roads. However, I am not for constantly oppressing the minority, and it’s hard sometimes to know where that line is drawn.
I know what I would want in broad strokes. If three people want to get married and no one is being coerced, fine by me! On the other hand, if three people want to pledge a life commitment to each other that doesn’t include a sexual relationship, I’m also fine with that. People want to live in a commune? Also fine!
On a more granular level, if women and female-presenting people do not want to wear bras under their shirts, that is fine, too. I don’t understand how freaked out people are by two dark circles. Again, as long as they are covered by colthing, who cares if they’re slightly visible through said clothing? I also don’t get people freaking out by body hair, but that’s a thing, too. I don’t shave anything for more than one reason, and I don’t understand the venom against it. Again, I know that society has deemed body hair to be unclean, sexual, gross, whatever, but I don’t get really get it.
I just wish more people would examine their own biases and prejudices. I know that’s futile because we as a species do not like to interrogate our own behavior. We prefer to project and proclaim that other people are the problem.
It’s an interesting thing because we need rules as a society. We can’t live in total anarchy without seriously damaging the collective. However, it can also be problematic to insist that everyone adheres to the societal norm that may or may not benefit them. I don’t know where to draw the line, but I think I would put it more towards the individual and be accepting of differences. I don’t know if that will happen in my life, but I can continue to dream.