It’s the first day of November, and I started my NaNoWriMo project at midnight last night. Well, technically, I started before that, but since I did not record my first 2,000+ words until after midnight. It’s totally legit, shut up. I began with a little brainstorming, and I will do more of that throughout the month.
I decided to start with the mystery, Here’s the thing, though. Because it’s set in the hospital, it could be the start of the memoir as well with a few tweaks. Which then makes me think, why not combine both?
Here’s the thing with the memoir. I am not and never going to write a classic memoir because it’s not the way I roll. Plus, as I mentioned before, my life isn’t nearly interesting enough for that. In addition, my brain will not settle down enough to write anything in a straightforward, sequential way. Believe me, I have tried. Several times. I start out a piece telling myself sternly that I am going to write something that starts at Point A, goes directly to Point B, and does not stop at Point C or Point -Z in-between.
I can Start at Point A and be absolutely determined to go right to Point B without turning my head–hey, what’s that over there? Why, it’s Point C!
Believe me, it’s much better for me to be honest with myself. I can sit here and say that I’ll be sequential and tell everything in a nice, neat fashion–and it would be a bald-faced lie. I know it’s not true. I know that I’m messy and bendy and I will always prcefer footnotes over the main story. I have footnoted a footnote before, and I will do it again. Don’t think I won’t.
Here’s the thing about my project. I decided I wanted to do two separate things (a memoir and a murder mystery (sort of)), but now I’m thinking of smashing it together. But would that be possible or even wise?
Side note: I just Googled fictionalized memoir. There are some very strong feelings about this, but there is also a term for it–autofiction. Which, I’m not thrilled about, I don’t mind saying. Why? Because it sounds like I’m writing about a car. Which I’m not. Most emphatically not. Anyway, some people have Very Strong Feelings about fictionalized memoirs, meaning they are very against it. It’s not true to the feelings and the blah-di-blah blah blah. Or rather, it’s not being truthful, which is sacred in memoirs.
Which, come on. No one’s memory is 100% perfect, plus we all have our biases. It’s folly to think that a memoir would be 100% accurate or even 75%. If I were to go the route of writing a fictionalized memoir, I would be honest that it’s not completely real. It’s more about the vibes and the feelings. And me jsut musing about whatever I want to muse about.
This is how I am about, well, everything, really. I use something until it’s no longer useful to me (like a label). Then I let it go and move onto something else. Is this a part of my neurodivergent brain? Maybe? I’m not sure because I’ve never been any different. I don’t like labels (but not in the ‘no labels’ way), but I acknowledge that they’re useful as heuristics.
Side note: I love the word ‘heuristics’, but really don’t have much opportunity to use it in daily conversation.
In my ideal world, I would just call myself me. I’m sexual, but not romantic. Taiwanese American, not religious and not interested in religion, and AFAB. I don’t care about gender. I like my lady bits, but I don’t think about them much. I don’t have kids and never wanted them. I have absolutely zero regrets on that front.
I don’t hold with tradition if there’s no reason for it (or if it’s actively harmful/unpleasant for me). I will say that this is something people misunderstand. I’m not a contrarian for the purpose of being contrary–I’m really not. It’s just that I see things differently than most people do. And I try to keep most of it to myself, especially when it’s so really fucking weird.
I’m the same when it comes to writing. I write what I want to write, and I don’t really pay attention to what I’m supposed to do. I’ve read authors saying how you’re supposed to structure your writing time. Steven King, in particular, gets name-checked very often. He’s very regimented (and prolific!). He writes early in the morning–and here’s the thing I just found out. He writes 2,000 words a day. I thought it was so much more! I don’t remember if he specifically suggested to write first thing in the morning, but that’s what it morphed to in my brain.
I don’t write in the morning. Hell, Idon’t get up in the morning, so that point is null and void. I can’t write fiction in the morning or when I first get up. I have no idea why, but I just can’t. I write the best a few hours before I go to bed. Again, I have no idea what that is, but that’s just how it is. I get my second wind around midnight and then write for a couple hours.
By the way. Stephen King writes for four hours a day in order to write those 2,000 words. I can write that much in half that time or less depending on how easily the words are flowing. I can write a hundred words a minute, but obviously, I am not going to write 6,000 words an hour if I’m trying to write something with any actual meaning.
I think as a writer the most important thing is to write. I know that sounds snarky, but I’m not trying to be like that. I mean it sincerely. Whatever will get you to write is the best practice for you. It’s the same as exercise. I know that I’m not going to write when I first get up. In part because I have to do my Taiji/Bagua routine which takes an hour-and-a-half. And Ineed my coffee after that. And surf the web, say hey to Ian, and a half dozen other things that I may need to get off the slate. Plus the daily blog post which is anywhere frrom 1,000 words to 2,500 words.
I also know that many writers suggest outlines. I don’t do those, either. I mean, I plan a novel in my brain. I can write a whole novel in my head before putting a word onto paper. But I will not write an outline. I will brainstorm all day long, but nary an outline will I write.
I got over 2,000 words last night. I’m very pleased with that.