Underneath my yellow skin

Tag Archives: besties

Out of the box

I was talking to K today and mentioned my frustration with being outside all categories. In general, I’m fine with it. It is, as the kids say, what it is. But, once in a while, it just irritates me because I would like to feel included in the converastion. We talked about gender and what did it mean, actually? We both feel if we were twenty now instead of thirty years ago, we would have chosen some flavor of nonbinary/agender.

As it were, I personally just…eh. Don’t really care at this point. In my perfect world, I would be able to go without gender pronouns and it would not be a big deal. Everyone would just use my name, and that would be that. I realize, though, that would be impractical and unwieldy. “Minna wanted a sandwich for Minna’s dinner because Minna was hungry and needed something to sustain Minna” can be shortened to “Minna wanted a sandwich for dinner as sustenance”, but other sentences aren’t as easily changed. In addition, it’s much easier to do this in writing than in speaking.

I don’t mind she or they to describe me–just not he. Gender is interesting because for different people, it means such different things. That’s not interesting and unusual in and of itself, but it means it’s difficult to built a new norm. K was saying she would like a nuversal ‘they’ but felt it would be akin to ‘I don’t see color’.

I am a fan of calling people what they want, but we have heuristics for a reason. It’s a bit unwieldy to not have any shorthands. Granted, we have ‘he’ and ‘she’, which the vast majority identify as. I did a quick Google, and thereare an estimated 1.2 million of LGBTQ+ people identify as nonbinary. PEW Research Center says that 1.6% of aults are nonbinary/trans with it rising to 5.1% for adults under 30.

I will bet it’ll shake out around 10%. Like all other alternative identities. So, out of 336,000,000 people, that would be roughly 3.5 million people. I’m guessing that, again, 90% of that group will be trans/nonbinary. The remaining 10% will be the rest of us. That’s roughly 350,000 people. That’s not a ton, granted, but it’s plenty! That would include agender, genderqueer, and genderfluid. I will say that every time I bring it up in the Aask A Manager website, I always have a few people chiming in to agree with me.

It’s pertty cool, even though it still startles me every time. It’s nice to have a little community, though. It’s weird. I read as a woman because I have big tits, curvy hips, and hair down to mid-thighs. But, my energy is not feminine. At all. I have told this story countless times, but I have twice confused lesbians trying to put me on the butch/femme spectrum (it was a different time, nearly three decades ago, when that’s whan you did as a queer woman). The first said after several moments of silence that she couldn’t place me on the spectrum. The latter said in a tone of vexation that I confused her because I had long hair and curves, but I really dug sports. And I didn’t wear makeup.


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A Tale of Two Best Friends

I met my bestie when we were both working at Katahdin (now extinct), me as a counselor in a day treatment program for juvenile delinquents*, and her as the administrative assistant. We were the only oddballs in the place, and we started talking during the annual Christmas lunch or some such. She had a tattoo (this was before I had mine), and she had been an English major in college. We really clicked, and we started hanging out outside of work. She did all the work in the beginning because I was deeply depressed and had a multitude of low-esteem issues. I couldn’t fathom she’d want me to bother her, and it took her asking me a year after we became friends if I wanted her to keep calling me to realize that she actually wanted to be friends. This was before Facebook, Twitter, and email were a daily thing with me, so I couldn’t even like one of her posts to let her know I was thinking of her.

We’ve seen each other through some difficult times, and we’ve seen how the other has grown in the past twenty-two years. I’ve called her the yang to my yin, the positive to my negative. She has a kid and gray hair now, and I have a cat and white streaks in my hair. When she lived here, we went out every few months, but it was comforting to know I *could* see her if I needed to in fifteen minutes or less.

One of our favorite things was to go out drinking** and dancing, and I vividly remember a time when we were both pretty sloshed and hungry after hours of dancing. We went to White Castle to get some sliders because that’s what you do when you’re drunk and need something to eat at two in the morning when everything else is closed. We took our sliders to the lake*** and walked on the shore as we ate. Suddenly, we both had to pee, and of course, there were no restrooms around. There was no on around, and it was dark, so we both found a semi-private spot and did our business. I accidentally peed on my foot, which struck me as hilarious.

I bring it up because I never would have done that without Kat, my partner in crime. She’s way more spontaneous than I am, and she can push me out of my comfort zone with little effort. She doesn’t live in state any longer, and we have to make a more conscious effort to keep in touch offline. We talk once every few months, and it’s as if we’ve never stopped talking. She is one of those people with whom it doesn’t matter how much time has passed–talking is as easy if not easier than when we first became friends.


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