I’m back to talk more about how my brain works (or doesn’t). I’m happy to know that it isn’t completely broken, but I still can’t help but think it’s somewhat broken.
For example. I have no hunger signals. I know that I broke my hunger meter at some point after many years of struggling with eating disorders. I thought that was the only reason, but I learned recertly that autistic people have many difficulties with eating. One, the sensory issue. Weirdly, I have very few textural issues with food. I do have a ton of sensitivities, though. I’m gluten-free and dairy-free, and I have to be careful with onion and garlic (much to my dismay. I’m Asian! Garlic is in almost every dish we have). I also think I have an issue with cauliflower, but I don’t want to test it.
Before I get into it, I just want to say that I talked about gender roles and how rigid they are in different countries, but in different ways in yesterday’s post. Now back to eating.
You know all those articles that tell you to listen to your body when it comes to eating? That intuitive eating is best? I say this with absolutely no snark–that’s a good idea if you can’t do it. I just can’t.
First of all, I am not hungry when I wake up. I’ve said this several times. I don’t eat breakfast or for several hours after (except for one bite of something approximately twenty minutes after I get up because I have a medication I need to take with food AND a medication I need to not take with food. So I take the latter with the other med I take daily in the ‘morning’ (I have one other I take at night) and then take the one I need to eat with food twenty minutes later. If I remember it all).
There’s a narrow window of time in which I have to eat something or I simply will not. And this is where I differ from the intuitive eating philosophy. Again, I want to emphasize that I think it’s better to be intuitive about eating–but it’s also better to actually eat.
Another thing that I can’t do is three square meals. I just quickly Googled, and it seems that after much debate three meals a day may be better for you than snacking throughout the day (as long as you don’t eat a huge meal late at night), but I just can’t do that. I eat one big meal in the middle of my day (which can be anywhere from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m., depending, and then I eat here and there.
There’s a saying for new parents–fed is best. This is because there’s a raging feud over breast-fed v. bottle-fed, with virtual blood being spilled on both sides.
I have to embrace fed is best, as messed up as that may sound. Otherwise, I won’t eat. Like, I did not eat an actual meal today until 2 in the morning. That’s not good, I know, but that’s just how it goes sometimes.